Some people think that only the government can make significant changes in society, while others think that individual can have a lot of influence. What is your opinion?
In every country on the earth, there is disagreement around the topic of positive
changes
in nation
. With regards to Add an article
the nation
this
topic, few consider bureaucracy can only make positive fluctuations in the country, whereas
others contend it can be done by residents. According to
my contention, for appropriate changes
citizens and authorities play an equal role.
To begin
with, there are numerous ways that aid legal bodies to make admissible changes
in
particular
Add an article
a particular
society
. First and foremost, it is the role of the government
to make good rules and regulations that alleviate the growth of the region. Notwithstanding this
duty, the government
always make different departments; thus
they can bring applicable change
in society
. Likewise
, regulations can set supervision; therefore
no one can break the rules of new policies; therefore
it assists in bringing beneficial change
. For instance
, a recent survey conducted by Times News of India indicates that in 2000 Indian government
made three changes
in the education sector; thus
it assist
the country in bringing positive attributes to the education system.
Wrong verb form
assisted
On the other hand
, there is no doubt residents play a paramount role in changingchange
Correct your spelling
changing
society
in appropriate ways. Firstly
, change
with time is most vital for the growth of any community. However
, change
is hard for individuals because of their culture and traditions. Sometimes they think change
will vanish their rituals. Consequently
, they do not accept a change
in society
. For example
, an article written by the University of New York reflects that in China many people in China still eat earth dishes and do not prefer modern utensils.
In a nutshell, although
bringing positive change
in society
is the duty of government
, if
residents of a particular area will allow those Correct word choice
apply
changes
in society
and follow in their day-to-day life.Submitted by taniamall786 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure that your arguments are developed thoroughly. This means providing more depth and explanation in how both the government and individuals contribute uniquely to change.
task achievement
Work on achieving clearer ideas. Try to make each paragraph focus on a single clear idea and link it back to the main thesis clearly.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen coherence by using more linking words between sentences and paragraphs, which can guide the reader more smoothly through your points.
coherence cohesion
Try to improve logical structure by ensuring each paragraph transitions logically to the next. The ideas should flow in a sequence that makes sense and builds on the previous point.
introduction conclusion present
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame your argument well.
relevant specific examples
The essay provides a relevant example which adds weight to the argument about governmental change in the education sector in India.
supported main points
The attempt to balance the argument by considering both government and individual roles is a strong point.