IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

Some companies sponsor sports as away to advertise themselves. Some people think it is good, while others think there are disadvantages to this. discuss boyh sides and give your opinion.

#companies #sponsor #sports #people #boyh
In the world of sports today, brand advertisement has not just become a global trend only but has
also
 established itself as an integral part of the game in terms of financial benefit and sponsorship.
While
 many individuals think that it has a lot of benefits, others have an opposing view. In my opinion, I think its advantages outweigh the shortcomings.
To begin
, certain entities are in support of companies sponsoring sports as a way of advertisement for a few reasons. One is that they are able to reach a wider physical and online audience when they are being showcased on jerseys during matches.
Also
, branding sports is widely accepted all over the world,
hence
, it subconsciously becomes registered in people's minds,
therefore
 leading to more product awareness among viewers.
Additionally
, a football star
for example
 Cristiano Ronaldo holds a record of being able to influence the Puma brand to register their maximum sale ever in 2012 after wearing them during his unveiling in Madrid stadium.
However
, some others are not in support. They think it is a waste and utterly unnecessary. In the sense that, social media exhibitions, street posters and billboards might be more meaningful advert investments for these companies rather than direct involvement in sporting activities . So, they have a larger target audience compared to sponsoring football teams. Meanwhile, I strongly support the pro-sport-branding motion and I completely believe that its importance is limitless.
As a result
 of
this
, more organizations should be encouraged to take sponsorship deals with clubs in order to promote their market presence. In conclusion, the culture, aesthetics and monetary profit for the companies involved in football and basketball branding cannot be overstated, and every necessary policy to
further
 encourage these acts should be made by the relevant bodies.
Submitted by callmosomitoyin on

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coherence cohesion
Provide a clearer distinction between the two perspectives for better balance in the discussion.
task achievement
Add more counterarguments to enhance the depth of the discussion on the disadvantages.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea supported by examples, maintaining clarity throughout.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly presents the topic and offers a personal opinion, setting a clear direction for the essay.
relevant specific examples
Relevant examples, such as Cristiano Ronaldo's influence on the Puma brand, effectively support the main points.
introduction conclusion present
The essay concludes with a strong statement that reinforces the writer's viewpoint effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sponsor
  • advertise
  • brand exposure
  • visibility
  • brand image
  • reputation
  • targeted marketing
  • product placement
  • endorsement
  • support
  • community
  • athletes
  • economic growth
  • oversaturation
  • commercialization
  • unfair advantage
  • financially stronger
  • ethical concerns
  • influence
  • diversion of funds
  • negative publicity
  • backlash
  • beneficial
  • overall
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