Some people say the feeling of competition should be encouraged in children while others say they should be taught to become cooperative. What is your opinion?

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The issue between instilling a competitive spirit in kids and encouraging
collaboration
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is a recurrent one, with each side presenting unique benefits and obstacles.
While
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rivalry can increase motivation and desire for individual brilliance,
collaboration
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fosters teamwork, empathy, and group success. In my opinion, a balanced strategy that incorporates both parts is most suited to
overall
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student development. Without
a
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apply
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question,
competition
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has advantages. It can encourage pupils to go beyond their comfort zones, pursue personal development, and become resilient in the face of adversity.
In addition
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to preparing pupils for the harsh realities of the professional world, healthy
competition
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cultivates a sense of ambition and determination.
Furthermore
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, the desire to exceed one's peers can foster invention and creativity in response to
competition
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. But an overemphasis on
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competition
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the competition
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can
also
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create a ruthless atmosphere where winning takes precedence over all other considerations, which can undermine moral
behavior
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behaviour
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and promote a stressed-out and anxious society.
Moreover
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,it can marginalize kids who struggle in competitive environments, which could cause them to feel inadequate and disengaged.
On the other hand
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, promoting
cooperation
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nurtures essential skills
such
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as communication,
collaboration
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, and empathy. Working collaboratively teaches students the value of teamwork and mutual support, preparing them for success in diverse social and professional contexts.
Cooperation
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fosters a sense of community and inclusivity, where individuals celebrate collective achievements and support each other's growth.
Nonetheless
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, an overemphasis on
cooperation
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without any element of healthy
competition
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may risk fostering complacency and dependency, hindering students' ability to strive for excellence and innovate. In conclusion, a balanced approach that embraces both
competition
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and
cooperation
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is essential in educational settings. By fostering environments where healthy
competition
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coexists with
collaboration
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and mutual respect, educators can nurture well-rounded individuals equipped with the necessary interpersonal skills to thrive in our interconnected world.
Submitted by gautopsoi368 on

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task achievement
Try to include more specific examples to support your arguments. Specific instances can strengthen your essay by making your points more relatable and persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Avoid minor grammatical issues like missing spaces after commas to improve readability. For example, in 'Moreover,it can marginalize', there should be a space after the comma.
task achievement
The essay presents a well-balanced view by discussing both the benefits and drawbacks of competition and cooperation.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame the essay's arguments.
coherence cohesion
Logical progression between paragraphs and a good flow of ideas make the essay easy to follow.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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