Some people thick that the government should be responsible for improving public health. Others, however, believe that everyone should take part in this issue.

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It is indisputable that enhancing public

health

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constitutes one of the most pivotal responsibilities of a

government

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. A segment of the population argues that the state should deliver superior

health

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services

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to its

citizens

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Conversely

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, there are those who contend that individuals ought to assume responsibility for their own

health

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This

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essay will explore both perspectives in depth.

Initially

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, it is imperative for the

government

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to facilitate public

health

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through the enhancement of essential

services

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such

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as the provision of clean water, efficient public transportation, and accessible healthcare.

For example

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, every individual should possess the right to high-quality medical

services

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offered by the state.

Furthermore

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, by ensuring that public transportation is economically accessible, governments can alleviate the financial burden on

citizens

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Additionally

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, the establishment of stringent sanitary regulations is essential for guaranteeing that all

citizens

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have access to potable drinking water, thereby fostering an environment conducive to good

health

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On the other hand

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, it is equally important to acknowledge the significant role of personal accountability in maintaining one's

health

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. Individuals must cultivate an awareness of their dietary choices, as these directly influence their well-being.

For instance

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, the proliferation of fast food, known for its convenience, has led many to overlook its detrimental effects,

such

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as the increased risk of diseases like diabetes and cardiovascular ailments.

Moreover

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, regular physical activity serves as a fundamental means by which individuals can enhance their

health

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and mitigate the likelihood of developing

such

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conditions. In my view, a balanced approach where both

government

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intervention and individual responsibility coexist is vital. Public

health

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can indeed be improved via comprehensive healthcare

services

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facilitated by the

government

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, yet it is equally crucial for

citizens

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to engage actively in

health

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-promoting

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

to alleviate potential

health

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crises. In conclusion, achieving a healthier society cannot solely depend on governmental efforts. The onus of improving public

health

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should not be placed exclusively on the

government

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;

instead

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, it is imperative that all members of society actively participate in

this

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endeavor

Change the spelling

endeavour

show examples

narnrs1Sat Oct 12 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that directly links to the essay question.

coherence cohesion

Use more varied linking words to enhance the flow between ideas and paragraphs.

task achievement

Include more concrete examples or data to further support your arguments.

task achievement

You provided a balanced exploration of both perspectives, which addresses the task effectively.

coherence cohesion

You have a clear and logical structure, with both an introduction and conclusion.

coherence cohesion

Each main point is well-developed and clearly linked to the central argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

327 words

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Some people thick that the government should be responsible for improving public health. Others, however, believe that everyone should take part in this issue.

Your opinion

In many countries, people are consuming more sugar-based drinks than before. Why is this happening, and what could be done to reduce sugary drink consumption.

Some people prefer to live alone. Others enjoy sharing a house with family or friends. Do the advantages of living with others outweigh the disadvantages?

Some parents think that their children should study in other countries because it has a number of benefits. Others think by studying in other countries, children will face a lot of problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people think that we should invent a new language for international communication. Will the benefits of this outweigh the problems associated with it?

Many people try to balance work and other parts of their life. However, this is very difficult to do. What are the problems associated with this? What is the best way to achieve a better balance?