Some believe that studying aboard is an exciting prospect while others state that it is probably better to study in their own country. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays it is argued that having an education life abroad is an exciting
posibility
Correct your spelling
possibility
while
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others think studying in the
country
where they were born is better.
Although
, I totally agree with the opinion which says
sstudying
Correct your spelling
studying
in another
country
is better.
This
essay will demonstrate the advantages of both assessments. Keeping education life in their own
country
has lots of advantages for students. The main advantage is it will be cheaper when it is compared with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
having it abroad.
For instance
, there is no extra fee for schools in Turkiye if you are
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Turkish
people
and you can find a room easily in the dormitories which are provided by
Correct article usage
the goverment
show examples
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
you don't have to pay for public transport and for most activities which
Add a missing verb
are organied
show examples
organied
Correct your spelling
organised
organized
by the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
.
On the other hand
, studying
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
abroad will give a
change
Correct your spelling
chance
show examples
to students to find a job in
multinationals
Change the noun form
multinational
show examples
companies. It is because
people
meet lots of
people
and
get
Verb problem
make
show examples
new foreign friends. After
the
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apply
show examples
school
Add a comma
school,
show examples
they keep in touch and visit
the
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apply
show examples
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
countries.Studies show that
the
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apply
show examples
people
who have
their
Change the word
a
show examples
high education abroad tend to work in multinational companies
due to
their wider society.
For example
, the ratio is 86% in Turkiye for
this
event
according to
local
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the local
show examples
statistical office. In conclusion, Studying in their own
country
is more
economic
Replace the word
economical
show examples
and logical, having a degree from a
univercity
Correct your spelling
university
which is located abroad will help
people
to find a good job and I think totally studying abroad is better than the other option.
Submitted by e.yildizhundur on

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coherence cohesion
Work on coherence by ensuring clear progression of ideas in each paragraph and providing smooth transitions between ideas.
task achievement
Improve task response by directly addressing both views in more depth and supporting them with balanced examples and explanations.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the precision of language and minimize typos or grammatical errors to improve overall clarity.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction clearly sets up the discussion of both views and provides your opinion.
supported main points
You provide examples to support your points, which helps illustrate your arguments effectively.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the essay and reiterates your stance on the topic.
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