IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

You have seen an advertisement in an Australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and look after their six-year-old child. Write a letter to the parents. In your letter • explain why you would like the job • give details of why you would be a suitable person to employ • say how you would spend your free time while you are in Australia

#advertisement #australian #magazine #someone #six #months #child #parents #job #person #time #australia
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Dear Sir or Madam， I have seen your advertisement in
magazine
Add an article
a magazine
show examples
 for someone to live with, and I was deeply interested in that at first glance. I am a university student majoring in the
English
 language, and I was just enrolled
by
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the University of Sydney for a master’s degree. It is a good opportunity for me to adapt to Australian life earlier.
English
 language,
as well as
English
 history, is my research field, which ensures smooth communication between us, we would have a lot to talk about, especially in
English
 literacy,
for example
, the masterpieces by Shakespeare, Jean Eyre, etc. My nephew is
also
 six years old, I got
along with
 him quite well, because I can always satisfy his curiosity. And I am sure so would be your child. You live in the attractive and bustling city of Sydney. So I would spend my free time walking around the city, sightseeing, and visiting museums. I have plenty of plans to experience the city. Hope that you give me the chance to get employed. I am looking forward to hearing from you. Thank you.
Submitted by 2819 on

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complete response
Ensure a more detailed explanation of why you're interested in the job. Elaborate on how it complements your studies or career goals.
logical structure
Consider dividing sentences that are too long into shorter ones to enhance clarity and flow.
greeting and closing
The letter closes with a polite and professional tone, enhancing the overall impression.
single idea per paragraph
Each paragraph is focused on a single idea, making it easy to follow.
suitable writing tone
The tone throughout the letter is friendly yet professional, which is suitable for this type of correspondence.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Childcare, Nurturing, Patience, Creativity, Early childhood development
  • Babysitting, Au pair, Engaging, Responsible, Enthusiastic
  • Safety, Trustworthy, Adaptability, Proactive, Cultural exchange
  • Activities, Educational games, Language skills, Exploring
  • Volunteering, Community involvement, Australian culture
  • Flexibility, Personal traits, Schedule, Enrichment
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