Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think that it’s a waste of time. Discuss both sides of question!
Some
people
believe that art
lessons
should be essential at schools
to help children to
strengthen their Verb problem
apply
skills
and build their imagination. However
, others think these lessons
are unvaluable
and waste their Correct your spelling
invaluable
time
.
Firstly
, nowadays there are an increasing number of people
who evaluate art
and know exactly its effect especially
for kids, Add the comma(s)
, especially
have
started encouraging Correct word choice
and have
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
art
lessons
should be essential in schools
. That's mainly because their benefits such
as broaden kids' imagination, enhance
their visual Wrong verb form
enhancing
skills
, and help
them to focus and concentrate. Wrong verb form
helping
For example
, according to
most upcoming studies, students who studied art
at school are more creative and more concentrated than those who didn't. These lessons
not only give them the skills
that are important to their growth but also
it's considered as
a fun activity Change preposition
apply
and
it could bring happiness Correct word choice
apply
for
students.
Other Change preposition
to
people
consider art
as just a fun activity and a student's time
at school is too valuable to spend it
on drawing or other artistic activities. Correct pronoun usage
apply
Therefore
, schools
should use that time
to teach them about other subjects such
as math and make the maximum benefit of that time
especially kids
can do Rephrase
when kids
art
at home or in other places. Those people
don't
aware Verb problem
aren't
about
the advantages that arts provide for children and that's mainly because they didn't get those Change preposition
of
lessons
when they were younger.
To conclude
, there are many opinions regarding art
subject
at Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
schools
. Some believe it's important to build strong skills
while
others believe the opposite.Submitted by adianalmozan on
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task achievement
Ensure your ideas are clear and fully developed in each paragraph. Try to dedicate separate paragraphs to each point for better clarity and structure.
task achievement
Try to include more specific examples or evidence to support the points you make. This can help strengthen your argument and demonstrate a better understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
While your essay has an introductory and concluding section, make sure your arguments are structured logically within the body paragraphs for smoother cohesion.
task achievement
Your essay clearly discusses both sides of the argument, effectively addressing the task prompt.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and a concluding paragraph, framing the discussion well.
task achievement
The points raised are relevant to the topic, showcasing a good understanding of the subject matter.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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