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Writing Samples
Band 6

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s live. To what extend you agree or disagree with this statement?

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In today’s fast-paced world, some people argue that the crucial impact of
science
Use synonyms
 is increased human life expectations,
while
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 others oppose
this
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. I believe that
science
Use synonyms
 helps upgrade human
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
 for several reasons and proof. On one hand,
science
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 is a pivot to support development in health knowledge and technology, which help human life expectancies. The researchers should study and find an advanced treatment for human illness, especially infectious diseases and deadly diseases.
For example
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, during the COVID-19 disease situation, the majority of developed countries,
such
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 as China and
Rusia
Correct your spelling
Russia
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 created a vaccine to decide on the spread of the virus for every people in the world.
Thus
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, aids the human body against virus effects in their body,
although
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 a person
was
Wrong verb form
is
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 infected, the vaccines cure them faster.
On the other hand
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, the essential effect of
science
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 outgrowth is to contribute to renewable energy resources that encourage humans to reduce pollution and climate change.
Science
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 conveys a new invention energy to substitute dangerous fuels with materials that are beneficial for the earth.
Furthermore
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, the change from using gas patrol cars to electric cars and shifting fossil fuel power plants developed using water and solar power led to positive imports for the earth.
For example
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, current research found that a larger part of people in America and Europe prefer to purchase an electric car because more advantageous with a lower price, but still convenient. In conclusion, I am convinced that the aim of
science
Use synonyms
 improve human lives in the world. The discovery of new knowledge and technology in health and alternative energy contributes positive impact on human habitat and the earth.

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task achievement
Try to elaborate more on your main points to make your argument clearer and stronger. Developing your ideas further could enhance the clarity and depth of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your sentences are logically sequenced and transitions are smooth to increase the logical flow. This will help in connecting ideas more coherently.
task achievement
The essay provides specific examples, such as the COVID-19 vaccine and electric cars, which effectively illustrate your points and contribute to supporting the argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which aid in guiding the reader through your argument and summarizing your main points effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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