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Band 6.5

Some people think children are more successful in foreign language studies than adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

#people #children #language #studies #adults #support #arguments #evidence
There is an ongoing debate over whether
children
 are more successful in learning a foreign
language
 rather than adults. Many individuals claim that middle-aged people have experience in terms of analyzing, though I mostly agree that
children
 are more successful for several reasons. Admittedly, proponents of the view against
children
 claim that adults can study a new
language
 with more effective methods. One of the obvious reasons is that they can use more sufficient learning strategies. As long as they have goals for acquiring a new
language
, they are able to learn more easily.
Additionally
, they have access to a wide range of resources in order to become multilingual.
For example
, they are able to purchase apps, and self-study materials, which fosters their learning pace.
Hence
,
this
 enables adults to find any sources related to learning a new
language
 more sufficient way.
Nevertheless
, despite the privilege of the middle-aged population,
children
 have an advantage in terms of
language
 acquisition. One of the significant reasons is that the young have more time to obtain a piece of knowledge. The more time they have, the more practice they can get.
According to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
linguist
Fix the agreement mistake
linguists
show examples
, effective learning methods of a new
language
 are
the practising
Correct your spelling
practised
show examples
 every day.
Further
 justification is that the brain's functionalities decline with age, meaning that
children
 have a cognitive benefit in the assimilation of foreign languages.
For instance
, as their brain is a white paper, they not only might study grammar, and vocabulary but
also
 are able to understand the cultural meaning. In conclusion,
while
 seniors might find a sufficient way through their past experience, and additional resources, I am of the opinion that adolescents have a supreme advantage
such
 as enough time and the brain's plasticity.
Submitted by ilkin.abdullaev04 on

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task achievement
Try to include more specific examples to strengthen your arguments and demonstrate a deeper engagement with the topic. For instance, you could mention specific educational studies or personal experiences to support your claim about children learning languages better.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next one, maintaining a clear flow of ideas. Connective words or phrases can be used more effectively in some parts of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a strong introduction and conclusion, outlining the writer's stance on the topic and providing a coherent wrap-up of arguments.
task achievement
Main points are well-developed and clear, addressing both perspectives of the argument, which demonstrates a balanced response.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • natural ability
  • mimic pronunciations
  • authentic accent
  • immersion
  • exposure
  • plasticity
  • cognitive advantage
  • critical period hypothesis
  • linguistic inputs
  • self-conscious
  • language learning strategies
  • effective learning strategies
  • motivation
  • personal or professional goals
  • awareness of learning styles
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