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Band 6

Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantanges outweigh the disadvamtages?

#people #world #media #touch #news #events #advantanges #disadvamtages
We are living in the age of technology. Everything is at our fingertips now.There used to be a time when movies or new TV shows made in the West would take months before they would be broadcast in the East,
however
 nowadays, cinema gets released at the same time all that to OTT platforms. To consume, there is no dearth of content. Social
media
 especially has shown us that we don't always need a crew of a TV show or telly film to create entertainment. All it takes is a phone and connectivity to the internet. Though, in the
last
 decade or two, social
media
 has made a soaring jump in people's lives,
however
, it was only during
covid
Correct your spelling
COVID
show examples
 that social
media
 was the only thing keeping the world connected. People were able to share their lives in the form of vlogging. COVID-19
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 made a lot of careers as well and a lot of entertainer or social
media
 influencers found their audience and got almost instant fame. The virality of internet content is insane. In my opinion,
however
, the negative impact of
this
 speed is equally fatal. With the introduction of 10-
second,
30-second
Correct word choice
and 30-second
show examples
 clips, the attention span of people all across ages is declining by the day. There is no wall to protect various age groups from discussing age-inappropriate topics. Which will only make it difficult for young adults to manage their place in society. The worst of it all is the fact that global news is at our fingertips. With crime, war, and famine happening all around, the visuals are
also
 now evident. It only brings about a sense of helplessness.
Submitted by outpost.03.cameo on

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task response
Present a more articulated opinion on whether advantages outweigh disadvantages in the introduction and conclusion to guide your essay, ensuring the reader understands your stance from the start.
task response
Develop each point with more specific examples. For instance, mention particular social media platforms or phenomena to give concrete backing to your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph clearly connects back to the question, indicating whether it discusses an advantage or a disadvantage, and how it affects the overall balance of your argument.
task response
Your essay contains diverse points about the impact of social media, covering both educational and societal aspects.
coherence cohesion
Transition between ideas is smooth, notably how you connect the past with the present context of social media during COVID-19.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • to connect with friends and family
  • to preserve bonds
  • real-time updates
  • a wide range of perspectives
  • global happenings
  • business opportunities
  • networking opportunities
  • mental health issues
  • unrealistic portrayals of life
  • privacy breaches
  • identity theft
  • addiction
  • time management
  • productivity
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