Some people believe that universities should only offer places to students with high marks, while others believe that people of all ages should be allowed even if they don’t do well in school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is thought by some people that only pupils with top marks should be allowed to
study
at a tertiary level while
others think students
of any age
should be allowed even if their performance is not the best in school. In my opinion, I agree with the former, but I will be discussing both views in this
essay.
Firstly
, I believe that grades
are a representation of a student’s intellectual capabilities, discipline, and determination, therefore
, a learner with higher marks would have better thinking and management skills compared to a student with lower grades
. Moreover
, students
that are excelling in school demonstrate their desire to pursue an education in
university Change preposition
at
due to
the competitiveness of getting an offer. For example
, a student that has top grades
in school would be academically inclined and would be hardworking, which are qualities required to study
at a higher level compared to their peers, who may not possess these attributes.
In contrast
, regardless of age
, not all pupils are academically proficient. This
may be a result of a lack of maturity due to
young age
as most juveniles do not have the ability to understand concepts fully and revise efficiently. Without these crucial traits, students
may not be able to strive at a level of higher education. For example
, an older learner would be able to study
more effectively and understand notions better due to
years of experience compared to a pupil of a younger age
, making them a better asset for universities.
In conclusion, I do not think that students
of any age
should be able to study
at university due to
their lack of maturity and experience. Therefore
, I believe that only students
with high marks should be offered to study
at universities due to
their capabilities showcased through their grades
, making them an asset to the institution.Submitted by d.adeliasong on
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task achievement
To enhance the Task Achievement, try including more relevant and specific examples. These can strengthen your argument and provide clearer evidence for your points.
task achievement
In the body paragraphs, make sure your ideas are comprehensively presented. Though the argument is generally clear, expanding on points with additional details can improve understanding, especially when noting distinctions between different students' capacities.
coherence cohesion
To improve Coherence and Cohesion, consider varying the transitions between paragraphs. More varied linking words and devices can help the essay flow even smoother.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which nicely frame the argument and provide a clear structure.
task achievement
The essay presents both views of the argument in a balanced manner before providing your opinion, which is essential for task completion.
task achievement
Your use of examples to illustrate points is effective in several instances, demonstrating good understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay displays a logical progression of ideas overall, which makes your argumentation easy to follow.