Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar; which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, more and more manufactured food and drink
products
contain high levels of sugar
. Some people
think sugary products
can be made more expensive to encourage people
to consume less sugar
because of health problems. But in my opinion, I think making sugary products
more expensive would not make people
consume less sugar
.
There are several reasons that people
think sugary products
made more expensive can encourage people
to consume less sugar
. The first reason
is that most people
would not pay high finance for high levels of sugar
. People
cannot afford that much for sugary products
because they will become poor. The second reason
is that sugary stores will become fewer because there are no customers. So people
cannot buy sugary products
easily thus
leading to people
will cancel the thought of buying sugary products
.
However
, I believe people
will not stop buying sugary products
by making them more expensive. One reason
is that most of the people
who eat sugar
cause health problems because of sugar
addiction. Sugar
addiction makes people
eat lots of sugar
and cannot stop. So even if sugary products
are made more expensive people
will still buy them to satisfy their stomachs. Another reason
is that people
who like to eat sugar
will spend all their money on sugary products
which means they don't have money to buy healthy food like vegetables or fruit.
In conclusion, although
some people
think making sugary products
more expensive will make people
consume less sugar
. I still think this
idea will not prevent people
from buying high levels of sugar
in food and drink.Submitted by vickychen941008 on
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Structure and Organization
Work on developing a clearer structure in your essay. Begin with an introductory paragraph that clearly states your opinion on the topic. Use subsequent paragraphs to present reasons supporting your view, each with a topic sentence and supporting details. A concluding paragraph should summarise your main points and restate your opinion.
Linking and Coherence
To enhance coherence, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. Transition words and phrases can help link sentences and paragraphs smoothly, guiding your reader through your argument. Consider phrases such as 'Moreover,' 'In addition,' 'On the other hand,' and 'In conclusion.'
Sentence Variety
Increase the complexity and range of your sentence structures. While keeping clarity, experiment with compound and complex sentences to express your ideas more precisely.
Supporting Evidence
Provide clearer and more detailed examples to support your points. Rather than making broad statements, use specific instances or data that illustrate why making sugary products more expensive might not reduce consumption. This will make your argument more convincing and comprehensive.
Balance and Critical Thinking
Be cautious with generalisations and work on providing a balanced view. Acknowledging the counterargument in a more analytical way could strengthen your position. Considering both sides of the argument shows critical thinking and can make your essay more persuasive.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.