Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar; which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, more and more manufactured food and drink
products
contain high levels of Use synonyms
sugar
. Some Use synonyms
people
think sugary Use synonyms
products
can be made more expensive to encourage Use synonyms
people
to consume less Use synonyms
sugar
because of health problems. But in my opinion, I think making sugary Use synonyms
products
more expensive would not make Use synonyms
people
consume less Use synonyms
sugar
.
There are several reasons that Use synonyms
people
think sugary Use synonyms
products
made more expensive can encourage Use synonyms
people
to consume less Use synonyms
sugar
. The first Use synonyms
reason
is that most Use synonyms
people
would not pay high finance for high levels of Use synonyms
sugar
. Use synonyms
People
cannot afford that much for sugary Use synonyms
products
because they will become poor. The second Use synonyms
reason
is that sugary stores will become fewer because there are no customers. So Use synonyms
people
cannot buy sugary Use synonyms
products
easily Use synonyms
thus
leading to Linking Words
people
will cancel the thought of buying sugary Use synonyms
products
.
Use synonyms
However
, I believe Linking Words
people
will not stop buying sugary Use synonyms
products
by making them more expensive. One Use synonyms
reason
is that most of the Use synonyms
people
who eat Use synonyms
sugar
cause health problems because of Use synonyms
sugar
addiction. Use synonyms
Sugar
addiction makes Use synonyms
people
eat lots of Use synonyms
sugar
and cannot stop. So even if sugary Use synonyms
products
are made more expensive Use synonyms
people
will still buy them to satisfy their stomachs. Another Use synonyms
reason
is that Use synonyms
people
who like to eat Use synonyms
sugar
will spend all their money on sugary Use synonyms
products
which means they don't have money to buy healthy food like vegetables or fruit.
In conclusion, Use synonyms
although
some Linking Words
people
think making sugary Use synonyms
products
more expensive will make Use synonyms
people
consume less Use synonyms
sugar
. I still think Use synonyms
this
idea will not prevent Linking Words
people
from buying high levels of Use synonyms
sugar
in food and drink.Use synonyms
Submitted by vickychen941008 on
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Structure and Organization
Work on developing a clearer structure in your essay. Begin with an introductory paragraph that clearly states your opinion on the topic. Use subsequent paragraphs to present reasons supporting your view, each with a topic sentence and supporting details. A concluding paragraph should summarise your main points and restate your opinion.
Linking and Coherence
To enhance coherence, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. Transition words and phrases can help link sentences and paragraphs smoothly, guiding your reader through your argument. Consider phrases such as 'Moreover,' 'In addition,' 'On the other hand,' and 'In conclusion.'
Sentence Variety
Increase the complexity and range of your sentence structures. While keeping clarity, experiment with compound and complex sentences to express your ideas more precisely.
Supporting Evidence
Provide clearer and more detailed examples to support your points. Rather than making broad statements, use specific instances or data that illustrate why making sugary products more expensive might not reduce consumption. This will make your argument more convincing and comprehensive.
Balance and Critical Thinking
Be cautious with generalisations and work on providing a balanced view. Acknowledging the counterargument in a more analytical way could strengthen your position. Considering both sides of the argument shows critical thinking and can make your essay more persuasive.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.