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Writing Samples
Band 7

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The diagram illustrates how bees produce honey. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The diagram illustrates how bees produce honey. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#minutes #bees #honey #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The diagram illustrates the various stages involved in the production of
honey
Use synonyms
, highlighting the natural
process
Use synonyms
 it undergoes before being packaged and sold.
Overall
Linking Words
,
honey
Use synonyms
 passes through seven distinct stages from its inception to its final release on the market. The
process
Use synonyms
 begins with
bees
Use synonyms
 preparing the
hive
Use synonyms
,
constructing
Correct word choice
and constructing
show examples
 the hexagonal cells where the
honey
Use synonyms
 will eventually be stored. The primary ingredient for
honey
Use synonyms
 production is
nectar
Use synonyms
, which
bees
Use synonyms
 gather from flowers. After leaving the
hive
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 in search of
nectar
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,
bees
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 collect
this
Linking Words
 sweet liquid and return to their
hive
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. Once back, they deposit the
nectar
Use synonyms
 into the
hive
Use synonyms
’s cells, where it undergoes a natural transformation into
honey
Use synonyms
.
Following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, the
bees
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 initiate the crucial stage of water evaporation. By beating their wings, they create airflow within the
hive
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, facilitating the removal of moisture from the
nectar
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, a
process
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 essential for thickening and concentrating it into
honey
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. Once
this
Linking Words
 is complete, the
honey
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 reaches its final form, ready to be harvested. At
this
Linking Words
 point, it can be extracted from the cells, packaged into jars, and distributed to the market. In conclusion, as depicted in the diagram,
honey
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 production is a multi-stage, natural
process
Use synonyms
 that does not rely on any industrial manufacturing techniques.
Instead
Linking Words
, it is driven entirely by the remarkable work of
bees
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by namoisma on

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words honey, process, bees, hive, nectar with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "diagram" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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