Some people believe that children should do sports so that they will grow up as healthy adults, but others feel sports are just about enjoying yourself. Discuss these both views and give your own opinion.
Sports
and autdoor
Correct your spelling
outdoor
activities
are contentious debate
, Fix the agreement mistake
debates
whereas
some people
think it's just activities
to have fun
. However
, I toatlly
agree that Correct your spelling
totally
sports
Add a missing verb
are usefull
usefull
for Correct your spelling
useful
Correct article usage
the body
body
Change noun form
body's
health
, its
not Correct pronoun usage
apply
oly
for Correct your spelling
only
fun
but also
for mental and physics
Replace the word
physical
health
, so, thats important to have that habit since
children. Change preposition
from
This
essay will examine some point
of Fix the agreement mistake
points
views
regarding Fix the agreement mistake
view
to
how important Remove the preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
exercise
to
our Add a missing verb
is to
health
, both for
mental and Change preposition
apply
physics
Replace the word
physical
health
.
To begin
with, there are numerous reasons why people
believe that sports
are just for have
Wrong verb form
having
fun
. Firstly
, looks like doing exercise
not using strategics, not using much brain, just rely
on muscles. Another reason might be mostly outdoor Wrong verb form
relying
activities
, people
use as Correct pronoun usage
which people
hobby
to release their fatigue. Add an article
a hobby
For example
, many employee
who Change to a plural noun
employees
have
a jobChange the verb form
has
9
to 5 working Change preposition
from 9
day
, take off Fix the agreement mistake
days
day
and plan outdoor Fix the agreement mistake
days
activities
just becuse
they are exhausted Correct your spelling
because
in
their job.
Change preposition
from
On the other hand
, sports
actually
good for mental and Add a missing verb
are actually
physics
Replace the word
physical
health
. Doing routine exercise
gives so many advantage
Change to a plural noun
advantages
especially
for Add the comma(s)
, especially
health
. Our body
is very sensitif
and Correct your spelling
sensitive
give
Change the verb form
gives
automaticly
Correct your spelling
automatically
automatic
respons
, but Correct your spelling
responses
sometime
we Replace the word
sometimes
ignored
Wrong verb form
ignore
it
, which leads to Correct pronoun usage
them
ilness
. To illustrate, if we rarely Correct your spelling
illness
doing
Wrong verb form
do
exercise
, our body
will give responses, such
as not have
a good quality of sleep, easier have a Wrong verb form
having
headche
, and other Correct your spelling
headache
illness
.
Fix the agreement mistake
illnesses
To conclude
, eventhough
some Correct your spelling
even though
people
think that sports
only
for Add a missing verb
are only
fun
, because it's not require
a lot of Change the verb form
it does not require
inteligence
, Correct your spelling
intelligence
However
it's very essential for Add the comma(s)
However,
physics
and mental health
. As we all know inside a healty
Correct your spelling
healthy
body
there is a healty
mind.Correct your spelling
healthy
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coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which is good. However, ensure that the main body paragraphs directly support and expand on the points mentioned in the introduction. Consider using topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to make the structure clearer.
task achievement
Make sure to fully respond to the task by discussing both views equally, as well as providing your opinion clearly. In this essay, while your position is evident, the discussion of both viewpoints could be more balanced.
coherence cohesion
To improve clarity, work on structuring your paragraphs with clear examples and elaborated main points. This helps the reader to follow your argument more easily.
coherence cohesion
The introduction is concise and presents the topic clearly, setting up the discussion for the essay nicely.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint, reiterating the importance of sports for both mental and physical health.