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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts and table illustrates the information about the total value and sources of fish imported to the US in the years 1988, 1992, and 2000.

The pie charts and table illustrates the information about the total value and sources of fish imported to the US in the years 1988, 1992, and 2000.
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The pie figure and table give data about the whole value and sources of
fish
Use synonyms
 imported to the United States over a period of 12 years.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
fish
Use synonyms
 imported had a great value
due to
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 the fact it cost billions of
dollars
Use synonyms
 in all three different years. And it came to the US from a variety of sources. Looking at the information in more detail, in 1988 the profit of
fish
Use synonyms
 transplants hit 6.57 billion
dollars
Use synonyms
. And it starts to increase dramatically to reach 8.52 billion
dollars
Use synonyms
 in only
4-year
Correct article usage
a 4-year
show examples
 gap.
Moreover
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, it continued to grow in 2000 to hit 10.72 billion
dollars
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
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, in 1998 the vast majority of
fish
Use synonyms
 transplanted came from Canada with 60% output.
Whereas
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. In 1992 other suppliers were the biggest producers of
fish
Use synonyms
 with 46%. In 2000 other suppliers were at 42%. Canada was about 28%.
While
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 China was at 30%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words fish, dollars with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Import origins
  • Total import value
  • Trends in import values
  • Trade patterns
  • Source distribution
  • Import dependency
  • Fluctuations in trade
  • Economic implications
  • Demand and supply dynamics
  • International trade policies
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