Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult to live such as Sahara desert or Antarctica. Do advantages outweight the disadvantage of live there .

There is a saying from Alice in Wonderland: “The best gift you could have given her was a lifetime of adventure.” In essence,
travel
, per se, takes us to unknown places where we can learn various perspectives and cultures, undergoing several challenges. These adventures shape who we are, lasting permanent and strong memory. Admitting that it is a matter of relativity how we may think of
such
fierce
travel
, the answer varies from person to person, depending on the value systems or the personal traits. All in all, I believe that there are two significant benefits that surpass the disadvantages as follows. First and foremost, I believe that the adventure to destinations where conditions are difficult to live will be a precious experience for us.
For example
, I tried to climb Mount Fuji, the highest mountain in Japan, when I was a high school student.
Although
the challenge was quite tough because of bad weather, I accomplished to reach the summit. Since the memory of the view from the top encourages me whenever I have a problem, fierce
travel
will give us treasure throughout our lives.
Second,
but not less importantly, these challenges far from our daily lives sometimes change our perspectives.
For instance
, my best friend, Sakura, has lived in Africa as a doctor to save children from diseases. The trigger that made her make the decision was the
travel
in the Sahara Desert. During the trip, she suffered from the disease in a place without a doctor and a hospital. From
this
experience, she chose a career in Africa. That having been mentioned, I have to hasten to add the importance of bravery to challenge new things. I believe that these adventures must be evaluated regardless of whether they are successful or not since they must be a valuable lesson for them.
Submitted by hide8335 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly states the topic and your stance. You introduced the benefits, but make sure your viewpoint is explicitly clear from the beginning.
coherence cohesion
Make sure your conclusion is distinct and summarizes your points effectively. It's important to bring your arguments together at the end to reinforce your stance.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating clear topic sentences for each paragraph that relate back to the main argument or thesis.
task achievement
The examples provided are vivid and personal, adding depth to your arguments and making the essay engaging.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized, with a clear progression of ideas and logical reasoning linking the points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: