Some people argue that it is the responsibility of the police to educate children about good behavior, whereas others believe that parents should be responsible for children. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the present day, the responsibility of educating children should belong to their parents regarding learning about good behaviour
whereas
Linking Words
some believe
this
Linking Words
issue may be under the control of the police.
This
Linking Words
essay will describe both aspects with some detailed examples including my opinions.
Firstly
Linking Words
, I strongly believe that an important part of the parent role is taking care of their children,particularly teaching them what necessary they need to know.
For example
Linking Words
, if the youths are not satisfied with something wrong they cannot hit or attack others like when they were small kids because
this
Linking Words
reflection is not good behaviour at all times.
Moreover
Linking Words
, parents are a couple of family members who are literally close to their offspring the most;
thus
Linking Words
,it is an inevitable duty to give them recommendations.
Secondly
Linking Words
, I think the outsiders, not a member of the family, could not considerably convince them to go in the right direction as they might not simply trustful them.
Finally
Linking Words
,they are likely to trust someone who is more reliable.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some think
this
Linking Words
duty should be taken by the force. I personally agree with part of
this
Linking Words
,but not in total. The police are able to take the educational responsibility through some special occasions. They might communicate with adolescents by publishing a special campaign.
For instance
Linking Words
, the campaign to resist any illegal drug should be published to the public as a fundamental basis of society, to always remind them to not be involved with those terrible things at all.
To conclude
Linking Words
, in my opinion, the main responsibility for educating good behaviour should be in the control of the parents rather than the police,which has a smaller impact on the offspring's actions.
However
Linking Words
, both of them are a part of
this
Linking Words
crucial step of personal growth.
Submitted by phanphetpor on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction
Ensure your introduction clearly presents the essay topic and your perspective. Try to outline briefly both views and your stance to make your argument structure more transparent from the beginning.
Coherence
Use a wider range of linking words to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. This will enhance the readability and coherence of your essay.
Conclusion
In the conclusion, restate your opinion more forcefully to leave a strong impression on the reader. Summarize the key points of both views before stating your final stance.
Supporting Arguments
Continue to include relevant examples to support your points; consider incorporating more detailed scenarios or data when possible to strengthen your argument.
Engagement
You have engaged with the essay topic effectively, discussing both sides of the argument before stating your own opinion.
Structure
Your essay has a logical structure, with clear paragraphs that each address a specific aspect of the debate.
Example Usage
The real-world examples you provided add credibility to your arguments and help illustrate your points clearly.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • responsibility
  • educating
  • good behavior
  • role
  • primary
  • collaboration
  • well-rounded
  • education
  • enforcing
  • balancing
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • mentor
  • guidance
  • discipline
  • supportive
  • law enforcement
  • positive influence
  • legal authority
  • parental involvement
  • community-oriented
What to do next:
Look at other essays: