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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Computers are being used more and more in education. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages and give your own opinion.

#computers #education
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In today's digital age, technological advancements have made
computers
 more accessible and sophisticated.
This
 has led some to believe that
students
 can use
computers
 for education without the assistance of
teachers
.
However
, I strongly disagree with
this
 perspective.
Firstly
,
while
computers
 are powerful tools, they are ultimately dependent on their users.
Students
 must know how to operate and control
computers
 to get the desired results. In many cases,
students
 may struggle when they encounter difficulties and require human guidance.
For example
, in Vietnam,
students
 are now required to learn mathematics using
computers
. When doing their homework, many rely on
computers
 to solve complex problems.
This
 dependence can lead to laziness, as
students
 may avoid thinking critically and miss out on developing essential problem-solving and
critical thinking
Add a hyphen
critical-thinking
show examples
 skills.
Secondly
,
while
computers
 provide access to vast amounts of information, they cannot replace the value of traditional learning methods entirely. University
students
,
for instance
, often prefer using
computers
 to take notes and store information.
However
, relying solely on
computers
 for
this
 purpose may reduce the retention of information and the active engagement that comes with manual note-taking. The hands-on approach that
teachers
 foster is crucial in developing
deeper
Add an article
a deeper
show examples
 understanding.
Finally
,
teachers
 offer something
computers
 cannot—empathy and personal connection.
Teachers
 motivate, support, and care for their
students
, providing emotional encouragement that machines are incapable of offering.
While
computers
 deliver knowledge, they lack the ability to observe
students
' needs and adapt to their emotional states, which is vital in a nurturing learning environment. In conclusion,
while
computers
 undoubtedly offer numerous benefits, they should not replace
teachers
. The role of
teachers
 in providing guidance, fostering critical thinking, and offering emotional support remains irreplaceable.
Submitted by nacute2606 on

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task achievement
Try to include more specific examples or data to strengthen your arguments, especially when discussing reliance on computers versus traditional methods.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly supports your main thesis, connecting ideas to the central argument about the role of computers and teachers in education.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, contributing to logical coherence.
task achievement
You effectively discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of using computers in education.
task achievement
Your argument about the irreplaceability of teachers is well-articulated and supported by relevant reasoning.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Interactive learning tools
  • 2. Multimedia presentations
  • 3. Online resources
  • 4. Distance learning
  • 5. Remote areas
  • 6. Digital literacy
  • 7. Problem-solving
  • 8. Critical thinking
  • 9. Technology-driven world
  • 10. Digital textbooks
  • 11. Administrative tasks
  • 12. Cost-effective
  • 13. Distraction
  • 14. Social media
  • 15. Over-reliance
  • 16. Traditional skills
  • 17. Handwriting
  • 18. Face-to-face communication
  • 19. Technical problems
  • 20. Digital divide
  • 21. Inequality
  • 22. Educational opportunities
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