IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some parts of the world it is becoming popular to research the history of one's own family. Why might people want to do this? Is it a positive or a negative development?

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With the popularity of
DNA
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 tests worldwide, many
people
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 tend to search
their
Change preposition
for their
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 family's history. The reason for
this
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 is because of the trend of
this
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DNA
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test
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 and their curiosity to know more about their origins.
This
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 idea has a positive development because
people
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 can easily connect with their families. It is noticeable that most
people
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 lately do want to know more about their family history.
This
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 is
for instance
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 possible through different
DNA
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test
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 laboratories. When
people
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 register for
this
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 service, they get a chance to know more about their real ethnicity
as well as
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 to connect with other family members that they did not know about before.
People
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 find out that they have no relatives or blood from their
now-home
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now home
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 country. The information put in the database of
this
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DNA
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test
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 matches
people
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 with similarities and
therefore
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 connects relatives indirectly.
This
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 curiosity to get to know your family better is definitely positive.
People
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that
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who
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 may have lost touch with their families
due to
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 catastrophes or wars
,
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apply
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 have now a chance to reconnect.
This
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 is a chance for
people
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 to get to know more about the rest of the world, and learn
new
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a new
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 language to communicate.
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However
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However,
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 there are
few
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a few
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 negative effects that
comes
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come
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 with
this
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test
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.
People
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 will be sharing
there
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their
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personnal infromation
Correct your spelling
personal information
 online.
This
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 is not always used safely.
Moreover
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, sometimes
people
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 can get disappointed when there is no information to be found. in conclusion, the positive effects of
this
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 research are good for reconnecting
people
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 through small tests that are not harmful.

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task achievement
To enhance task achievement, ensure that each argument is more clearly developed with relevant examples from your personal observations or known facts. Address possible counterpoints to give a more balanced view.
coherence cohesion
Structure the essay so that each paragraph develops a single main idea and logically flows into the next. Use linking words and phrases effectively to improve the coherence between sections.
task response
Review the essay for punctuation and word choice improvements. Consider rephrasing parts where the ideas aren’t as clearly communicated or examples could be more specific.
introduction conclusion present
The essay topic is introduced, and a conclusion is provided, albeit succinctly.
coherence cohesion
The essay shows a basic understanding of the topic with relevant points about the popularity and benefits of researching family history.
task achievement
Some positive aspects of DNA testing, such as reconnecting families and discovering ethnic backgrounds, are appropriately mentioned.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Genealogy
  • Heritage
  • Ancestry
  • Lineage
  • Descendants
  • Forebears
  • Pedigree
  • Dynasty
  • Progenitors
  • Ethnicity
  • Genetic predisposition
  • Familial ties
  • Archival records
  • Hereditary
  • Kinship
  • Self-identity
  • Patriarchy/Matriarchy
What to do next:
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