IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some students take a year off and going to university in order to travel or to work. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#students #year #university #travel #work
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Undeniably, A large number of high
Use synonyms
School
Fix capitalization
school
show examples
 graduates choose to
traveling
Change the verb
travel
show examples
 or
working
Wrong verb form
work
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instead
Linking Words
 of directly entering
school
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. Which
is with
Verb problem
has
show examples
 more positive effects and negative influences. Nowadays, some high
school
Use synonyms
 graduates choose to
traveling
Change the verb
travel
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
different cities for several months, the others choose to find a Job or help with the family’s business, which can bring different
observation
Fix the agreement mistake
observations
show examples
 for
students
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.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 the gap year absolutely is able to help
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young
People
Fix capitalization
people
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 choose their
futuer
Correct your spelling
future
 major both in university and career. To be more specific.
Students
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 choose the Job to
observing
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observe
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 more practical
skills
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,
such
Linking Words
 as operation
ability
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.
Team work
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Teamwork
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ability
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, organizing
skills
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.
And
Correct word choice
Then
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then
Linking Words
, select the work relevant to the
universities
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university
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 major, which can enable
Add an article
the student
a student
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student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 to understand more knowledge and
take
Correct your spelling
make
show examples
 them
realize
Add the particle
to realize
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 the development of that
maJor
Correct your spelling
major
show examples
. All in all, that can help more
Students
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 realize whether their maJor is suitable and experience more Job content, which is more helpful for
time
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 and goal Planning in College, and enhance their learning and comprehensive abilities during
school
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, broaden their horizons at the same
time
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. Admittedly, some considerations have indicated that a few f disadvantages
also
Linking Words
 have been brought at the same
time
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. In fact, most of
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students
Add an article
the students
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 lack
of
Remove the preposition
apply
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self-control
ability
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. If they spend more
time
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to
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apply
show examples
working or travelling, it can
make
Verb problem
cause
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students
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reducing
Wrong verb form
to reduce their
show examples
 concentration on learning, Some Pupils may not want to return to
school
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.
However
Linking Words
. all of these worries illustrated above are unreasonable and unnecessary for every
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students
Change to a singular noun
student
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. living
skills
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 and social
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Skills
Fix capitalization
skills
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lie
Verb problem
are
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 important for us, We must learn and use
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
In other words
Linking Words
, if they Command more
Skills
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. which can help them make progress
more
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apply
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earlier.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
the
Change preposition
in the
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 gap year
Students
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 are able to Practice
that
Correct determiner usage
those
show examples
skills
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,
For instance
Linking Words
. my friends in order to
Change the verb
apply
show examples
applying
Add the preposition
applying for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
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 better University,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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find
a
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apply
show examples
work
about
Change preposition
in
show examples
her
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 ideal major. The company have training
course
Fix the agreement mistake
courses
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 for every employee, which have organizing,
teamwork
Correct word choice
and teamwork
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. logical thinking, and So
many
Correct quantifier usage
much
show examples
 Content, When
her
Change the pronoun
she
show examples
 came to the university, she
think
Wrong verb form
thought
show examples
 that
Skills
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are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 very valuable In
essence
Add a comma
essence,
show examples
 based on the arguments offered above, the gap year
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 more advantages than disadvantages.
Thereore
Correct your spelling
Therefore
.
Students
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 Should reasonable
arrangement
Fix the agreement mistake
arrangements
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 , improving Personal
ability
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by 260897758 on

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coherence
Consider organizing the essay more clearly by delineating each paragraph to focus on a single aspect, like advantages, disadvantages, and your conclusion.
coherence
Refine the introduction to clearly state the topic and your viewpoint immediately to set a solid foundation for your discussion.
cohesion
Use linking words and phrases like 'Firstly,' 'In addition,' and 'However' more frequently to ensure smooth transitions between ideas.
task achievement
Include specific examples and evidence to support your ideas thoroughly to enhance clarity.
task achievement
Improve sentence structure and clarity by avoiding run-on sentences and making them more concise.
task achievement
The essay provides a comprehensive response to the topic by addressing both advantages and disadvantages of taking a gap year.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion returns to the main point and summary effectively, reinforcing the positive outlook on gap years.
task achievement
The essay attempts to discuss practical skills gained during a gap year, which directly relates to the prompt.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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