A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of Income. Unfortunately, tourism can be cause of lot of problem if its not well managed . What are the advantage and dis advantage in the modern world? Do you think advantage overweight the disadvantage .
The issue of tourism has been a disputatious and contentious matter recently. It has been argued that travelling has a major impact on both countries and people.
Therefore
, I tend to believe that both the benefits and drawbacks need to be examined in depth.
On the one hand, there are some main advantages for
tourism. Change preposition
to
Firstly
, boosting and contributing millions of pounds to country's
income. Correct article usage
the country's
In other words
, tourists spend money on a wide range of services including hotels, food, transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
as well as
medical services leading to an increase in production capacity and country's
outcome. Correct article usage
the country's
Secondy
, some individuals travel for their entertainment Correct your spelling
Secondly
such
as discovering
cultures and Change the verb form
to discover
learning
new languages. Not only that but Wrong verb form
learn
also
, some
teenagers are interested in visiting museums, architectural feats and shopping.
Correct word choice
but some
On the other hand
, as the garden has weeds, certain disadvantages should be taken into considerations
. the most Fix the agreement mistake
consideration
evidant
one is crimes. To illustrate, the presence of a large number of people with a lot of money to spend and Correct your spelling
evident
carring
valuables Correct your spelling
carrying
caring
such
as expensive watches and jewelries
Change the wording
jewelry
pieces of jewelry
,
increases the attraction of criminals. Remove the comma
apply
Furthermore
, the country
will be insecure for tourists. Another widely
drawback is traffic Change the adverb
wide
due to
visiting a huge number of people leading to an
environmental Correct article usage
apply
damge
by using various types of Correct your spelling
damage
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
such
as cars, trains or buses.
In conclusion, I point out saying that international travel palys
an integral role in enhancing the Correct your spelling
plays
country
's outcome and there are a
numerous benefits and drawbacks of it . In my opinion, I think that the merits outweigh the established demerits. I hope the government can Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
rise
Correct your spelling
raise
the
awareness towards the hazards of tourism.Correct article usage
apply
Submitted by saroooniiq8 on
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task achievement
Try to elaborate more on each point to strengthen the argument and provide a well-rounded discussion.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to illustrate your points, especially in the advantages section.
task achievement
Ensure that you address each point with enough depth and detail to make your arguments convincing.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to some grammatical errors and ensure the use of proper noun capitalization.
coherence cohesion
Continue to connect ideas clearly to maintain a good logical flow throughout your essay.
task achievement
The introduction clearly sets up the discussion by stating that both advantages and disadvantages will be examined.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents both sides of the argument thoughtfully, and acknowledges the complexity of the issue.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the essay and includes a personal opinion that adds weight to the argument.
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