Some people say that the best way to improve the overall general health of the public is to offer more sports facilities. Others say that this would have little effect and other measure are necessary to improve public health. Discuss both views.

#people #health #offer #sports #facilities #effect #measure

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few

people

argue that taking part in

sports

is more effective for

health

while

others think that public

health

can be improved by taking other initiatives.In

this

essay, I will discuss both points of view related to public

health

. on the one hand,

sports

activities are important for improving the

health

of both men and women because they help to boost the immune system of the body

as well as

, protect us from many diseases like cardiovascular disease, hypertension and stress level of a person.

Furthermore

, doing exercises lowers your cholesterol level so that your heart remains healthy and you have fewer chances of cardiovascular attack.

secondly

, working out and going to the gym keep

people

refreshed and keep them away from many negative thoughts that make your daily life difficult.

Additionally

people

are less indulged in mental illness

while

going to the gym.

For example

, in one study it has been shown that in Pakistan 85 % of

people

have heart problems because of not doing regular exercise.

Therefore

it is very important to do daily exercises.

on the other hand

besides

sports

there are many other methods to keep

people

healthy like daily home activities, like moving, going up the stairs and

while

some

people

think that doing routine work is just like doing a gym at home

as a result

, their

overall

physical

health

is effected by doing just little routine work.As compared to

sports

, a proper diet have

also

beneficial effects on

health

eating apples keeps you away from the doctor and consuming proper amounts of nutrients keeps you mentally

as well as

physically healthy.

For instance

people

who eat unhealthy food are at increased risk of obesity, and non-communicable diseases.

hence

besides

sports

other factors

also

contribute to

health

To sum up

sports

are very important to keep us safe and sound but some other factors are

also

important like healthy diets.

Submitted by madihaali8470 on Tue Oct 15 2024

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task achievement

Try to refine your introduction by clearly stating the central argument and framing it more precisely. This helps in setting up a clear direction for your essay.

task achievement

Include clearer and more specific examples to back up your arguments better. This could add strength to your essay and make your opinions more convincing.

coherence cohesion

Strive for better logical transitions between points. While the general flow is understandable, evident signals when changing ideas would enhance coherence.

coherence cohesion

The essay presents an appropriately structured introduction and conclusion, quickly setting the context and wrapping up the discussion.

task achievement

You effectively present both sides of the argument regarding how to improve public health, touching upon various perspectives.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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16
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

313 words

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Some people say that the best way to improve the overall general health of the public is to offer more sports facilities. Others say that this would have little effect and other measure are necessary to improve public health. Discuss both views.

Your opinion

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance, for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

It is important for children to learn what is right and what is wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn the distinction. To what extent do you agree? What sort of punsihment should be given?

the most important aim of science should be to improve people's live. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In many countries, people are now living Lon than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

Plastic bags,plastic bottles and plastic packing are bad for the environment. What damage does plastic do to the environment? What can be done by governments and individuals to solve this problem?