Some people say that the best way to improve the overall general health of the public is to offer more sports facilities. Others say that this would have little effect and other measure are necessary to improve public health. Discuss both views.

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few

people

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argue that taking part in

sports

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is more effective for

health

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while

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others think that public

health

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can be improved by taking other initiatives.In

this

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essay, I will discuss both points of view related to public

health

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. on the one hand,

sports

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activities are important for improving the

health

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of both men and women because they help to boost the immune system of the body

as well as

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, protect us from many diseases like cardiovascular disease, hypertension and stress level of a person.

Furthermore

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, doing exercises lowers your cholesterol level so that your heart remains healthy and you have fewer chances of cardiovascular attack.

secondly

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, working out and going to the gym keep

people

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refreshed and keep them away from many negative thoughts that make your daily life difficult.

Additionally

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people

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are less indulged in mental illness

while

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going to the gym.

For example

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, in one study it has been shown that in Pakistan 85 % of

people

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have heart problems because of not doing regular exercise.

Therefore

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it is very important to do daily exercises.

on the other hand

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besides

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sports

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there are many other methods to keep

people

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healthy like daily home activities, like moving, going up the stairs and

while

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some

people

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think that doing routine work is just like doing a gym at home

as a result

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, their

overall

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physical

health

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is effected by doing just little routine work.As compared to

sports

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, a proper diet have

also

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beneficial effects on

health

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eating apples keeps you away from the doctor and consuming proper amounts of nutrients keeps you mentally

as well as

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physically healthy.

For instance

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people

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who eat unhealthy food are at increased risk of obesity, and non-communicable diseases.

hence

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besides

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sports

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other factors

also

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contribute to

health

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To sum up

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sports

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are very important to keep us safe and sound but some other factors are

also

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important like healthy diets.

madihaali8470Tue Oct 15 2024

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task achievement

Try to refine your introduction by clearly stating the central argument and framing it more precisely. This helps in setting up a clear direction for your essay.

task achievement

Include clearer and more specific examples to back up your arguments better. This could add strength to your essay and make your opinions more convincing.

coherence cohesion

Strive for better logical transitions between points. While the general flow is understandable, evident signals when changing ideas would enhance coherence.

coherence cohesion

The essay presents an appropriately structured introduction and conclusion, quickly setting the context and wrapping up the discussion.

task achievement

You effectively present both sides of the argument regarding how to improve public health, touching upon various perspectives.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

16
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

313 words

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Some people say that the best way to improve the overall general health of the public is to offer more sports facilities. Others say that this would have little effect and other measure are necessary to improve public health. Discuss both views.

Your opinion

Some people say that economic development is necessary to reduce the poverty in the world. Others say that economic growth should be stopped immediately lo stop damaging the environment. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

A lot of people believe that the amount of violence shown on TV and in the cinema affects the actions of our young people and therefore increases the amount of violence in our society today. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? What can be done to reduce violence in our society today?

Research shows that business meetings, discussions and trainings are happening online nowadays. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?