Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are tought to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adult. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
It is often argued that few people believe that
children
should compete with their friends Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
others
think that Use synonyms
children
should learn to understand each other Use synonyms
instead
of comparing with Linking Words
others
.In Use synonyms
this
essay, I will discuss both points of view related to competition.As far as I'm concerned, I agree with the notion that Linking Words
children
should cooperate with each other.
Starting with the ability to compete with Use synonyms
others
, many Use synonyms
children
are encouraged to compare themself with their class fellows to achieve higher goals Use synonyms
while
some Linking Words
children
are motivated by their parents to gain higher grades in the class even though, they think that not scoring higher marks than their mates will be the matter of disappointment for them Use synonyms
for example
, in one study it has been shown that 75% parents are authoritative that punish their Linking Words
children
not to get higher rank in the school.Use synonyms
whereas
competition is sometimes better for Linking Words
children
to strive for excellence, it makes them more creative and open-minded and opens the door to their success.
Moving toward the opponents of competition, because they think that it leads to negative self-image and self-destruction. Use synonyms
However
cooperative abilities make Linking Words
children
more positive and develop deep insight Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
children
Use synonyms
furthermore
, Linking Words
children
become capable of understanding things by sharing their thoughts, and material thing Use synonyms
as well as
their notes to help other Linking Words
children
, it develops a strong sense of attaining shared goals, and problem-solving skills as they play together as a team Use synonyms
for instance
, it can be seen in jigsaw puzzles and tower building.Linking Words
Hence
helping Linking Words
others
is the first cooperative behaviour of Use synonyms
children
.
Use synonyms
To sum up
, it is beneficial to compete with Linking Words
others
to gain bigger goals but cooperation leads toward equality and patience .Use synonyms
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coherence cohesion
To enhance the coherence of your essay, work on refining your paragraph transitions and ensuring that each paragraph clearly transitions from one idea to the next.
task achievement
Consider elaborating more on the examples you provide. Adding more specificity can help illustrate your points in a clearer manner.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly presents the topic and the writer’s stance, setting up the rest of the essay effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay concludes with a summary that ties together the main points discussed, which aids in overall coherence.
task achievement
The essay acknowledges both sides of the debate, showing a balanced approach to task achievement.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.