In the 20th century, contact between many different parts of the world developed rapidly through telecommunication and air travel. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays, most
people
can keep in touch with others in the distance because of advanced technology. Concerning telecommunication, many humans now use electronic devices to contact their friends, families, and so on, it brings about convenience. However
, it also
has some negative impacts on humans. As far as I am concerned, despite being adverse, I still feel that telecommunications gives us plenty of benefits which arguably outweigh the drawbacks.
As science develops rapidly, humanity can enjoy the advantages brought by creators and inventors. The largest benefit is no limitation of distance and time
. We can get access easily to other human beings around the world without spending too much time
. Whether the smartphone, instant message, or social networking site is employed by students, workers, and so on. As for students, they can discuss assignments with their peers via platforms, or employees as well as
employers can have a meeting through video conferencing. For people
, it is not requisite to attend meetings or other activities in person, it seems to reduce commuting time
.
Conversely
, this
kind of technology considerably decreases barriers between humans, it makes the worldwide rhythm fast. Although
people
can make use of time
effectively, it is the main reason why we become haste and even arrogant because we think all work can be completed with these efficient tools. The results perhaps go like a dream, but it largely affects our mental health. Speedy surroundings usually give rise to a nervous status.
In a nutshell, as they say, "Every rose has its thorns", and so does technology. I believe the invention of a useful tool is meant to benefit people
. Besides
, merchants may acquire much more money from it. Naturally, it is impossible for everything only has positive aspects, but no negative prospects. Consequently
, as previously stated, I suggest the interest it has produced so far surpasses the trouble it has bred.Submitted by hayashidajinja820 on
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task achievement
Clarify the main argument in the introduction and make it more explicit. This will strengthen the overall response and provide a clear framework for the essay.
task achievement
Use more varied and specific examples to illustrate your points in order to make the argument more persuasive.
coherence and cohesion
Improve transitions between sentences and paragraphs to enhance the flow of ideas throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay clearly has an introduction and a conclusion, which provides a complete structure.
task achievement
You incorporate relevant points about both the advantages and disadvantages of telecommunication, presenting a balanced view.
coherence and cohesion
The logical progression of ideas throughout the essay is evident, making it easy to follow your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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