Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic: The idea of having a single career is becoming an old fashioned one. The new fashion will be to have several careers or ways of earning money and further education will be something that continues throughout life. Use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.
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It is a real case scenario that educated readers have no speciality in one subject rather than vice versa.
Although
many think that a single career job is an idea of the outdated trend, others state that there should be many ways to earn money with several education. It is agreed that educated readers or personnel ought to find optional paths to earn extra income
such
as investing in cryptocurrency and buying real estate properties. This
essay will examine how this
idea helps to create more ways to become successful in life.
The foremost argument says that investing in cryptocurrency would be a better smart decision. Because of this
investment individuals lend out many loans throughout this
asset, which helps to gain more financial benefits. For example
, in recent article claims that in future there will be more banking systems operating and accepting digital currency such
as bitcoin in many countries.
Another argument supports the real estate option which is also
another way to build an empire. This
happens when educated personnel start to educate themselves by gaining knowledge on buying real estate property-related books. For instance
, Robert Kyonsanky, who wrote a book and shared it in the market so many interested can learn and create passive income
through this
education.
In conclusion, it is a fact that the singular option of doing a job just creates a small portion of income
however
multiple ways of educating systems generate several types of income
. It is an obvious reason to support and figure out several career options for educated people throughout their life journey.Submitted by patelhardik2199 on
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task achievement
The essay provides a standpoint but lacks a clear introduction and conclusion that aligns with IELTS writing task 2 expectations. While it discusses the topic of career multiplicity and ongoing education, the thesis statement is not evidently presented, and the conclusion is weak. As an IELTS examiner, I recommend establishing a clear thesis statement in the introduction and restating it in the conclusion for better coherence. Moreover, the body paragraphs need to be more focused and developed with specific examples.
coherence cohesion
This essay shows attempts at organizing ideas, but the logical flow between them is weak, impacting the logical structure grade. Transitional phrases are underutilized, leading to a lack of clear progression of ideas. To enhance your coherence and cohesion score, make use of linking words and phrases to connect sentences and paragraphs seamlessly. Additionally, ensure that each body paragraph has a clear main idea followed by supporting details and examples.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?