Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic: The idea of having a single career is becoming an old fashioned one. The new fashion will be to have several careers or ways of earning money and further education will be something that continues throughout life. Use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

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It is a real case scenario that educated readers have no speciality in one subject rather than vice versa.

Although

Linking Words

many think that a single career job is an idea of the outdated trend, others state that there should be many ways to earn money with several education. It is agreed that educated readers or personnel ought to find optional paths to earn extra

income

Use synonyms

such

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as investing in cryptocurrency and buying real estate properties.

This

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essay will examine how

this

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idea helps to create more ways to become successful in life. The foremost argument says that investing in cryptocurrency would be a better smart decision. Because of

this

Linking Words

investment individuals lend out many loans throughout

this

Linking Words

asset, which helps to gain more financial benefits.

For example

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, in recent article claims that in future there will be more banking systems operating and accepting digital currency

such

Linking Words

as bitcoin in many countries. Another argument supports the real estate option which is

also

Linking Words

another way to build an empire.

This

Linking Words

happens when educated personnel start to educate themselves by gaining knowledge on buying real estate property-related books.

For instance

Linking Words

, Robert Kyonsanky, who wrote a book and shared it in the market so many interested can learn and create passive

income

Use synonyms

through

this

Linking Words

education. In conclusion, it is a fact that the singular option of doing a job just creates a small portion of

income

Use synonyms

however

Linking Words

multiple ways of educating systems generate several types of

income

Use synonyms

. It is an obvious reason to support and figure out several career options for educated people throughout their life journey.

patelhardik2199Sat Jan 13 2024

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task achievement

The essay provides a standpoint but lacks a clear introduction and conclusion that aligns with IELTS writing task 2 expectations. While it discusses the topic of career multiplicity and ongoing education, the thesis statement is not evidently presented, and the conclusion is weak. As an IELTS examiner, I recommend establishing a clear thesis statement in the introduction and restating it in the conclusion for better coherence. Moreover, the body paragraphs need to be more focused and developed with specific examples.

coherence cohesion

This essay shows attempts at organizing ideas, but the logical flow between them is weak, impacting the logical structure grade. Transitional phrases are underutilized, leading to a lack of clear progression of ideas. To enhance your coherence and cohesion score, make use of linking words and phrases to connect sentences and paragraphs seamlessly. Additionally, ensure that each body paragraph has a clear main idea followed by supporting details and examples.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

263 words

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Your opinion

Thanks to development of science and technology, the lifestyle have become more and more similar across the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve the growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?