5The chart below shows participation in certain leisure activities by children in Australia. Write a report describing the information shown below The chart below shows participation in certain leisure activities by children in Australia. Write a report describing the information shown below

#participation #leisure #activities #children #australia #report #information

The bar chart

provide

Change the verb form

provides

show examples

key information about activities by

boys

and

girls

in Australia. The units are measured in percentages.

Overall

, it is clear from the graph that watching

Correct your spelling

show examples

and videos

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

the highest thing they take 100%.

In addition

boys

are doing bike riding more than

girls

whereas

girls

are art and craft More than

boys

According to

what is shown,

boys

are doing activities on the streets usually like skateboarding and bike riding about 40% and 70% ,

however

Add the comma(s)

however,

show examples

80% of

boys

playing

Wrong verb form

play

show examples

electronic games at home. In terms of 60% only

Change preposition

apply

show examples

girls

playing video games it is 10% lower than

boys

Submitted by azoooooz.f on Wed Oct 16 2024

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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

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Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words boys, girls with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the seventh paragraph.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

105 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

engagement levels
leisure activities
downward trend
popularity
participation rates
comparisons
analyze
general trends
highlight
significance

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5The chart below shows participation in certain leisure activities by children in Australia. Write a report describing the information shown below The chart below shows participation in certain leisure activities by children in Australia. Write a report describing the information shown below

Some people think that it would be better for large companies and industry to move to regional areas outside large urban centres. Do you think the advantage outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that watching television is bad for children. Other people believe that watching television is educational for children. Which opinion do you agree with and why?

Some cities create housing areas by providing taller buildings other create housing by building houses on a wider area of land what solution is better?

Some people think that governments should do more to make their citizens eat a healthy diet. Others believe that individuals must take responsibility for their own diet and health. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that good health is a basic human need, so the medical service should not be run by profit-making companies. Do you think the disadvantages of private-health care outweigh the advantages?