Museums and art galleries should show local history and culture instead of work from different countries. Discuss both views and give your opinion. (Write 250 words.)

#museums #art #galleries #show #history #culture #work #countries

Local

Add an article

The local

A local

show examples

country

Fix the agreement mistake

countries

show examples

should represent local

history

museums

and

art

galleries

more than

history

Correct article usage

the history

show examples

and

culture

from

Change preposition

show examples

different

countries

. In my

opinion

Add a comma

opinion,

show examples

Change the capitalization

show examples

agree with

this

statement that

local

Correct article usage

a local

show examples

country

should show local

history

and

culture

. To start with,

local

Add an article

the local

a local

show examples

country

should represent their own local

history

and

culture

. So, if we put all

history

and

culture

museums

and

art

galleries

. All

foreigners

will understand our

culture

and represent it to

foreigners

For example

, if

museums

in Thailand,

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

put

Thailand

Change noun form

Thailand's

show examples

history

thai

Change the capitalization

Thai

show examples

tradition

Replace the word

traditional

show examples

clothing,

foreigners

will learn and understand more about

Thailand

Change noun form

Thailand's

show examples

culture

Also

, in

korea

Correct your spelling

Korean

drama

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

they put

korea

Correct your spelling

Korean

culture

in every

korea

Correct your spelling

Korean

drama. It

make

Change the verb form

makes

show examples

foreigners

that come to see the

korea

Correct your spelling

Korean

drama they will know all about

culture

For example

, BBQ pork , kimchi or any kind of old

korea

Correct your spelling

Korean

history

Moreover

, if local

museums

and

art

galleries

have work from different

countries

. Local people can learn different

history

and

art

in local

museums

. They will not go to other

countries

and learn from the original.

For example

art

galleries

in Paris

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

have many arteries and

art

that come from different

countries

and cultures.

Change preposition

For

show examples

this

reason, people in Paris will know widely about

art

galleries

. In conclusion,

local

Add an article

the local

a local

show examples

country

should represent their own

culture

and

history

in their

museums

and

art

galleries

On the other hand

, some work from different

countries

can give

many

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

knowledge and develop other local people. In

term

Fix the agreement mistake

terms

show examples

idea

Fix the agreement mistake

ideas

show examples

and knowledge from other histories.

Submitted by kanchanakularathna1991 on Wed Oct 16 2024

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Task Achievement

Your essay presents a clear opinion on the topic, which is great. However, ensure that both views are equally discussed to provide a balanced response as required by the task.

Task Achievement

It is important to develop your main points with clear examples and explanations. Try to elaborate more on how different views impact the understanding of culture and history.

Coherence and Cohesion

Work on your essay structure, ensuring that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next, possibly with linking phrases.

Task Achievement

Provide more specific and clear examples to support your main points. Elaborate on why having work from different countries in museums may be beneficial.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is essential for good structure.

Coherence and Cohesion

You express your ideas clearly and with a logical progression, though more detail could be added.

Task Achievement

The essay raises relevant points about local culture being represented in museums, showing a good understanding of the topic.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

249 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Museums and art galleries should show local history and culture instead of work from different countries. Discuss both views and give your opinion. (Write 250 words.)

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some people believe that people stay fit if they joing gym and sports Club while other think that they stay fit doing walking and climbing stairs is sufficient. Discuss both views along your opinion

Some cities have vehicle free days when private cars,trucks and motorcycle are banned from the city center. People are encouraged to use public transportation such as buses , taxes and metro on vehicle-free days. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries, secondary school aims to provide a general education across a range of subjects. In others, children focus on a narrow range of subjects related to a particular career. Which do you think is better?

In some areas of the US, a curfew is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be outdoors after a particular time at night unless they are with an adult? What is your opinion about this?