Government should not have to provide care or financial support for elderly people because it is the responsibility of each person to prepare for retirement and support him or herself. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

#government #care #support #people #responsibility #person #retirement

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One of the most challenging issues in today's world is the increasing elderly population which seems to bring up several consequences for the governments. Some say the heads of state are not responsible for providing special care for

this

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group of society, on the grounds that each individual should take care of themselves when they start to get old. I completely disagree with

this

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viewpoint, and in

this

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essay, I am going to elaborate on my reasons. The very first reason that I can share for being against the idea that old

people

Use synonyms

should not be supported by the government is that they should be honoured and respected for the years that they have been serving the

country

Use synonyms

. As it is evident, all the working citizens of a

country

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pay a considerable amount of tax to the government during their years of employment, so

as a result

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they should benefit from their hard work when they get old and are in need.

For instance

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, many governments construct geriatric establishments in order to take good care of the elderly. On top of that,

although

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it may seem that

this

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group of

people

Use synonyms

is not useful for the

country

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, it is totally the opposite. Since old

people

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are more experienced, they can deliver a level of wisdom to the youngsters that can

consequently

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enhance society.

That is

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why these individuals should not be neglected.

For example

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, many states try to treat their elderly the best and

also

Linking Words

cherish them with different plans to keep them engaged with other social groups.

On the other hand

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, some believe that the resources of the

country

Use synonyms

should not be consumed by the elderly as they should have planned for their retirement in advance. The reason for

this

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viewpoint is that they do not consider the elderly invaluable.

For example

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, in some countries, there are no state nursing homes to serve the old

people

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. All in all,

although

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some are of the view that governments should not support the elderly financially or in any other way, I think the opposite. In my opinion, these

people

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have the right to benefit from all the public services like all other groups in society.

Submitted by basri.fateme on Wed Oct 16 2024

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task achievement

The essay's arguments are well-developed, but adding more specific examples or statistics could enhance task achievement.

coherence cohesion

While coherence is mostly maintained, ensuring smoother transitions between ideas could further improve logical flow.

coherence cohesion

The introduction clearly outlines the writer's position and sets the stage for the main points.

task achievement

The essay provides thoughtful reasons and examples supporting the position taken.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion effectively summarizes the argument and reinforces the writer's viewpoint.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

364 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial support
retirement
self-sufficiency
government subsidies
pension schemes
quality of life
economic uncertainties
inflation
dignity
personal responsibility
publicly funded
inadequate preparation
social security
care provision
elderly poverty
financial burden

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Include an introduction and conclusion

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