Some people believe that young people should choose the jobs that they want, but other people think they should be more realistic and think more about their future. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Selective
jobs
amongst youngsters is a topic that sparks debate, with some advocating they should choose the
jobs
basically what they want,
while
others view they should be more realistic to pursue their future. In
this
essay, I would like to examine both perspectives. On the one hand, proponents argue that being selective is essential for young
people
to enhance their capability
in particular
skills
.
For instance
, for
people
who have graduated from their major, it will be practicable if it is related to their
jobs
.
Moreover
, circumstance plays a vital role in the workplace to enhance their
skills
specifically it has a lot of
people
who have graduated from the same major,
therefore
they can relate to discussion to strengthen the team as experts.
On the other hand
, there are those who believe that passion should not be considered an essential subject in occupation. They argue that being more realistic should take precedence
while
seeking
jobs
. Competing amongst job seekers these days is more difficult, the probability is not balanced between job seekers and availability, and a lot of companies seek
people
who have good academic
skills
and personalities. In consequence, concerns are raised about being realistic to not being selective is likely to have an occupation as following their own fortune. In my opinion, it is impossible to improve former
skills
without practice in fields and joining communities that have the same path. Societies can make prioritization whether income, job availability, and
also
skills
that they want to enhance.
Thus
, in
this
case, a good career path cannot occur by relying solely on either passion or opportunity. In conclusion, there is a debate over whether selective occupation is a good thing in a community.
While
being more realistic
also
holds undeniable importance, making prioritization what they need the most can jump to a higher career and there are no short processes to pursuing the future.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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coherence and cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, work on the logical flow of ideas throughout the essay. Ensure that each paragraph is clearly connected to the next with appropriate linking words or phrases.
task achievement
For task achievement, add more specific examples to illustrate your points and strengthen your argument. This will help demonstrate a complete understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Your essay presents both sides of the argument clearly and provides a personal opinion, which fulfills the task requirements.
coherence and cohesion
Both the introduction and conclusion are present and effectively orient the reader to your argument and summarize your main points.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • job satisfaction
  • skill development
  • market demands
  • financial stability
  • career growth
  • job security
  • income level
  • fulfilling professional life
  • personal happiness
  • career counseling
  • job market trends
  • adaptability
  • work-life balance
  • health implications
  • job automation
  • redundancy
  • emerging technologies
  • stable employment
  • motivated
  • competent
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