Prevention is better than cure” Out of a country’s health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and prevention measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Prevention of disease is believed to be more advantageous than treatment.
For
this
reason, a large portion of the
health
budget should be spent on prevention measures rather than remedies.
This
essay completely acknowledges that and prefers investment in
health
education and protective action to medical interventions. The details will be explained in the following paragraphs.
Firstly
, allocating a significant portion of healthcare finance to Preemptive strategies results in diminishing illness and disease, and
as a result
heavy expenditure on therapy will be minimized.
That is
to say, by enhancing preventive plans
such
as vaccination and screening for early detection of disease, governments or individuals can tackle potential
health
problems.
For example
, in 2022, it was reported in the New York Times that 70
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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of Japanese never got COVID-19 because they had been vaccinated at the beginning of the pandemic which resulted in reduced medical fees.
Secondly
, investing in
health
education can empower people to make informed decisions about their
health
so they can adopt healthier lifestyles like healthy diets, and avoid harmful habits like smoking and excessive alcohol consumption.
Hence
, people can take preemptive steps to prevent the onset of
health
issues
such
as diabetes and obesity.
For instance
, a report published in the Washington Post in 2024 revealed that approximately 80
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
of Italians had a good
health
condition because they were aware of wellness challenges.
To conclude
,
this
essay supports that investment in prevention action and
health
information is more important than cure owing to decreasing treatment costs and improving
overall
public
health
outcomes.
Therefore
, the more protective strategies increase, the more population
health
increases.
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coherence cohesion
While the essay is generally well-organized, consider using clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to help guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
Make sure to include some counterarguments or address potential objections to strengthen the argument even further. This would show a more balanced analysis.
task achievement
The essay provides a comprehensive response to the task by addressing both health education and prevention measures.
task achievement
Use of relevant and specific examples, such as the case of Japan's COVID-19 vaccination and the health condition of Italians, effectively supports the main points.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion that help frame the discussion well.
coherence cohesion
The main points are logically structured and well-supported with evidence, which enhances the overall coherence.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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