IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Scientific developments in farming always bring major benefits. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#developments
Science in the development of agriculture is beneficial for our society. In my view, for our country's improvement, it is better to have a lot of advanced farming technologies, and I will explain why in the following paragraphs. To start with, every human being needs
food
 for living.
Otherwise
, we will die. The nations that have new technologies in growing may help them in cultivating, so they can have plenty of
food
 to export overseas to support foreigners. Assisting poor from all over the world can build powerful connections with those regions. One day, if you need a hand, someone may back you up. Solving
food
 shortages is one of the main concerns of the
united nations
Correct your spelling
United Nations
show examples
. Agriculture is a vital subject in aiding a country to prosperity because we can find out what kind of
food
 is healthy for the human body and which one is the best-selling product.
As a result
, with
this
 development, we will become stronger and richer. It is good for boosting our economy, and it
also
 can dominate other nations,
for example
, North Korea is relying on China to give them some main sources of
food
.
Therefore
, North Koreans can not live without Chinese supply. In a nutshell, in order to enhance a country's power, technologies in farming are necessary, because with these, people can live healthier, and our homeland will have a big influence internationally. Reducing hunger is an issue most people in Africa are facing.
However
, we can donate our
food
 to them, and the problem will be minimized.
Submitted by edward300225 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points and justify your arguments further. This would strengthen your essay and demonstrate your understanding more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that paragraphs transition smoothly by using linking words and phrases. This helps maintain the flow of the essay and makes it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
task achievement
Expand on ideas and provide more comprehensive details to enhance your argument. Exploring various dimensions of the topic can also add depth to your response.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of your essay is clear, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which makes it easy to follow.
task achievement
The essay addresses the question directly and provides a clear position on the topic, which is well-sustained throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces your position, which gives the essay a strong ending.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: