IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Many people think that governments should invest more in public transportation instead of building new roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many
people
Use synonyms
 believe that public
transportation
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 should be invested in
instead
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 of building new
roads
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. From my perspective, I strongly agree with
this
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 statement because public
transportation
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 has more
benefits
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 than new
roads
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, and spending the government’s budget on new road construction is not worthwhile. One of the most important reasons why
this
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 is the case is that public
transportation
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 produces more advantages than focusing on constructing new
roads
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. If the government decides to invest in setting up public
transportation
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 systems, the population will probably obtain a wide range of
benefits
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 which can improve their quality of life.
For example
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,
nowadays
Punctuation problem
nowadays,
show examples
 many developed countries are encountering traffic congestion issues
due to
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 the increasing number of cars.
As a result
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, if public
transportation
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 is developed with support from the government, it will possibly reduce traffic congestion because
people
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 will have alternative ways to commute and may use public
transportation
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 more frequently to avoid traffic problems. Another reason to support my opinion is that building new
roads
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 might not be a good investment because not everyone will receive
benefits
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 from it.
For instance
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,
people
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 who own vehicles will commute more conveniently if the government provides high-quality
roads
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.
However
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,
people
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 who do not have any vehicles might believe that paying money to build or improve
roads
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 is not necessary.
Therefore
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, public
transportation
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 is more important for them. In conclusion, it is undoubtedly true that governments should spend more on public
transportation
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instead
Linking Words
 of building new
roads
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 because it provides greater
benefits
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 and supports
people
Use synonyms
 who do not own personal vehicles.

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coherence cohesion
Make your main idea more direct in each body part.
task achievement
Use stronger support for each point with clearer detail.
task achievement
Explain why public transport is better in a deeper way.
coherence cohesion
Link ideas between sentences more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear opening and ending.
task achievement
Your position is clear from the start.
task achievement
Your ideas stay on the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your paragraphs are easy to follow.
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