The pie charts below show the devices people in the age 18 to 25 age group used to watch TV in Canada in 2009 and 2019. https://writing9.com/_next/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fimages.writing9.com%2F527162854715088052ae0ff4d012c315.png&w=1080&q=75

#show #devices #people #age #group #tv #canada #a% #f% #fimages #com% #f #ae #ff #c #png&w= #&q=

The pie charts provide key information about the change in the devices people in the age 18 to 25 age group used to watch

in Canada between 2009 and 2019. The units are measured in percentages.

Overall

, it is clear from the graph that conventional

was the dominant region in 2009.

In addition

, Flat-screen

experienced

Remove the article

apply

show examples

substantial growth over the years,

whereas

conventional

saw a significant decrease.

According to

what is shown, in 2009, conventional

represented over

the

Correct article usage

show examples

third of the total and

laptop

Fix the agreement mistake

laptops

show examples

was

Correct subject-verb agreement

were

show examples

the second-large ratio about fifth per cent.

Moreover

, desktop

computer

Fix the agreement mistake

computers

show examples

and mobile

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

were 18% and 15%, respectively. Flat-screen

was just under 10%,

while

tablet

Fix the agreement mistake

tablets

show examples

had the smallest share with 5 %. In terms of 2019, Flat-screen

Fix the agreement mistake

TVs

show examples

soared to 27% and mobile

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

rose to represent around a quarter of the total.

Similarly

tablet

Fix the agreement mistake

tablets

show examples

showed a notable increase to 19%.

Conversely

, conventional

dropped to just under 5%.

Also

, laptop and desktop

computer

Fix the agreement mistake

computers

show examples

declined significantly to 12%.

Submitted by n.a.s.2 on Thu Oct 17 2024

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 78%.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words tv with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "represented" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "just under" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.

▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

169 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The pie charts below show the devices people in the age 18 to 25 age group used to watch TV in Canada in 2009 and 2019. https://writing9.com/_next/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fimages.writing9.com%2F527162854715088052ae0ff4d012c315.png&w=1080&q=75

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

People who live in large cities face a range of problems in their daily life. What are the main problems people in cities face, how can these problems be tackled?

It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?