Nowadays many people prefer to shop in supermarkets rather than small shops or local markets? Is this positive or negative for development? Discuss and give your opinion.

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These days, marketing is so varied from the prior time.
For example
, most people buy their food ingredients from
supermarkets
instead
of local stores. In my opinion,
this
alternative is a negative development owing to the fact that the shopkeepers of small markets lose their jobs;
moreover
, the big markets have a bad effect on the environment ;
whereas
, they help populations to find a lot of parts that they need in one place . On the one hand, when a majority of communities buy the elements that they need from massive markets, the local salespersons do not have customers.
In other words
,
supermarkets
have a negative influence on their incomes and economy;
as a result
, after a long time they prefer to close their shops;
consequently
, they lose their jobs;
thereafter
, they have to find new job opportunities.
On the other hand
,
supermarkets
have a range of foods, but a number of these Foodstuffs do not sell
due to
the fact that they are costly or people do not like them , so after their expirations, they have to throw out them the trash. In fact, they are injuring the environment by selling items that are generated from not only plants but
also
animals
while
they become waste. To illustrate, we can see most famous
supermarkets
all over the world have a lot of waste of yoghurts, vegetables, and so on which they throw into the garbage at midnight.
To sum up
, In my view,
supermarkets
are a good place to buy everything;
nevertheless
, I believe that the local economy and the environment are the most crucial factors that have a lot of affections on peoples' lifestyles.
Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on

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task achievement
Try to present more specific examples to support your points. For instance, instead of saying supermarkets affect the environment, you could mention specific environmental impacts like increased carbon emissions from transporting goods.
task achievement
Work on making your ideas a bit clearer and more comprehensive. It would be beneficial to elaborate further on how exactly small shops benefit the local economy or environment compared to supermarkets.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph clearly links back to the main thesis to reinforce your argument throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a solid structure for the argument presented.
task achievement
You have successfully identified both positive and negative aspects of supermarkets, which gives a balanced perspective on the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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