Your internet is not good. Write to the manager of an internet provider about this problem.

Dear Sir or Madam The reason why I am writing

this

letter to you is that my internet has not worked very well since

last

Monday. As I am a freelancer in video editing, the connection is an incredibly important thing in my work. At the outset,five days ago I got an SMS about my monthly payment having expired and

after

this

information, I paid via the Internet immediately.

Although

my network worked for about four days, it stopped working,when I started uploading my

last

task to the Freelance platform.

Furthermore

,my sons could not find their home tasks,which were given by their teacher,because,they should get their homework online from the school website.

Moreover

,my wife wants to be multilingual. She cannot learn her new foreign language course,because she studies online in Duolingo. I have been using your connection company for over 5 years and I trust you. if you help me to improve my internet connection,I will be incredibly happy. I hope you can solve my problem easily and I am waiting for your reply letter as soon as possible. Yours faithfully, Kim Chin In

Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on Thu Oct 17 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Consider organizing your letter into distinct paragraphs, each focusing on a single idea to improve coherence.

Task Achievement

Ensure that your request for a solution is direct and clear, possibly suggesting a timeframe for a response.

Task Achievement

The tone of the letter is polite and formal, which is appropriate for this context.

Coherence and Cohesion

The letter includes a greeting and a closing, making it easy to read and understand.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

183 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Your internet is not good. Write to the manager of an internet provider about this problem.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

As a result of electronic invention such as the computer and television, people do less physical activity, and this is having a negative effect on their health. To what extent so you agree or disagree?

Some people say that women should not be allowed to work in the police force. Do you agree or disagree?