Young people spend most of their free time in shopping malls . This has many negative impacts on young people and society. do you agree or disagree?
These days, young
people
spend most of their spare time
in shopping malls
. Some people
believe that this
practice negatively impacts young people
and society
. I personally agree with this
viewpoint because spending time
in shopping malls
kills the valuable time
of young people
, and negatively affects the order and peace of society
.
Spending most of the free time
in shopping malls
kills the valuable time
of the young generation. Youth is the most valuable time
of life, and if young people
cannot utilize that time
properly, they cannot
be able to progress in the future. Verb problem
will not
On the contrary
, if young people
invest that time
in voluntary work, gaining any soft skills or reading a new book, it will help them to become prepare
for the future. Change the form of the verb
prepared
For example
, in Bangladesh, many young people
, specially
teenage girls invest a lot of Replace the word
especially
time
exploring shopping malls
to purchase unnecessary items. It kills their valuable time
and money.
Moreover
, if young people
gather in shopping malls
, it affects the laws and orders of society
. Young people
sometimes engage in disagreements in shopping malls
, and it leads to disputes and fights. This
hampers the laws and orders of society
. In shopping malls
, there are people
of different ages and backgrounds who can be affected by the violence. For example
, in Australia, once in a shopping mall, some young people
between the age range of 15 to 17 engaged in a fight, and that spread a huge panic among the shoppers.
In conclusion, I completely agree that spending time
in shopping malls
kills the valuable time
of young people
. It also
affects the laws and orders of shopping malls
if they engage in disputes and fights.Submitted by rahman_rehana on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Consider adding more balanced arguments, potentially mentioning some positive aspects of young people spending time in malls if you wish to reach a higher band for task achievement. This can provide a more comprehensive response to the essay question.
coherence cohesion
Ensure seamless transitions between paragraphs and within them to further enhance the flow of your essay. This can slightly improve your score in coherence and cohesion.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly states your position on the topic and provides a clear overview of the points that will be discussed.
supported main points
Each main point is supported by relevant examples, which add depth to your arguments.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes your position and main points, reinforcing your argument.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!