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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050.

The charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050.
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The pipe charts compare the variety age of
population
Fix the agreement mistake
populations
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include
Wrong verb form
including
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Yemen
Use synonyms
 and Italy commencing from 2000 to 2050.
Overall
Linking Words
, the ages from 15 to 59 made up the largest proportion of Italy or even
Yemen
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 people
from
Change preposition
apply
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over 60
years
Use synonyms
 old
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 the smallest in
Yemen
Use synonyms
 except
Italy
Change preposition
in Italy
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
, both the ages from 15 to 59
years
Use synonyms
 and over 60
years
Use synonyms
 increased significantly without people from 0-14
years
Use synonyms
.
Initially
Linking Words
, individuals from 15-59
years
Use synonyms
 remained around nearly half in 2000 and
rising
Wrong verb form
will rise
show examples
 to over
a
Correct article usage
apply
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half (57.3%) in 2050 in
Yemen
Use synonyms
. It obviously made up around 60
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 and decreased deeply in 2050.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, people in
Yemen
Use synonyms
 from 0-14
years
Use synonyms
take
Correct word choice
old take
show examples
 a little bit over a half and dropped gradually
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 around one five.
Similarity
Replace the word
Similarly
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, in Italy, it simply made up about an over minor percentage and decreased approximately two times in 2050.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 lowest ratio in Italy.
Last
Linking Words
 but not least, the oldest age in
Yemen
Use synonyms
 just
take
Verb problem
apply
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under 10 percent and enhance a bit in 2050. In Italy, it made up a percentage
Change preposition
of aroun
show examples
aroun
Correct your spelling
around
 40 percent and improve dramatically in 2050.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words yemen, years with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • age demographics
  • age structure
  • population distribution
  • youthful population
  • ageing population
  • life expectancy
  • birth rate
  • demographic shift
  • population projection
  • median age
  • dependents
  • working-age population
  • elderly dependents
  • geriatric
  • fertility rate
  • migration
  • demographic trends
  • baby boomers
  • demographic dividend
  • population pyramid
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