In many countries, people are moving away from rural areas and towards urban areas. Why do you think that is? What problems can this cause?

#countries #people #areas

There is no denying the fact that in many countries

people

are moving from rural

areas

to urban

areas

This

essay will explain the reasons why

people

move

from their hometowns to big

cities

To begin

with, nowadays a

lot

people

looking for new opportunities and they want to enhance their lifestyle and get high salaries.

Moreover

this

can not be found in small villages or

cities

, and these reasons will make them

move

to urban places.

For instance

, doctors prefer to work in big universities to be close to new studies and to get a high income, some of them believe it is better than having a job in a small city without any development.

In addition

, a

lot

people

think big and modern

cities

can help their children to be successful in the future.

In other words

, raising children in a good environment will help the parents a

lot

therefore

, most

people

would like to get any chance that might positively affect their kids. In terms of the side effects of

this

trend, a

lot

of job positions would be empty with no one. It is

also

possible to say that if doctors decide to

move

from their rural

areas

and look for opportunities

Change preposition

apply

show examples

somewhere else,

this

decision, will impact the community. Imagine if someone needs medicine he will be forced to

move

to another area to get what he wants.

Moreover

, If

people

decide to leave the rural

areas

in the next few years the urban

cities

will be crowded and suffer from

this

issue.

For instance

, with the population growing most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

cities

can not expand as fast as the population increases.

Moreover

, big places will not only face the growing but

also

the

people

migration. In conclusion, nowadays human begins to travel from their small place looking for any modern spot. It is

also

possible to say that, a

lot

of circumstances and problems will appear because of

this

decision.

Submitted by altammar12 on Fri Oct 18 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure the conclusion summarises key points made in the essay to provide a clear closing.

coherence cohesion

Utilise linking words more frequently to smoothly transition between ideas or paragraphs.

task achievement

Develop examples further to strengthen points made. Adding more specific details can help clarify arguments.

task achievement

Review language use for small inaccuracies, and consider sentence structure variety to improve readability.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear and relevant introduction and conclusion, which creates a strong framework for the main arguments.

task achievement

The essay provides a complete response to the task and stays relevant, addressing the reasons people move to urban areas and the problems this causes.

task achievement

The points presented are logical and supported with examples, such as how the relocation might affect children's future success.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

328 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many countries, people are moving away from rural areas and towards urban areas. Why do you think that is? What problems can this cause?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that individuals today are more dependent on each other, others believe that people have become independent. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

With the development of online communication, people will never be alone and will always be able to make new friends. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Reporting of crimes and other kinds of violent news on television and in newspapers can have adverse consquences. This kind of information should be restricted from being shown in the media. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

One of the consquences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantacges of this outweigh the disadvantages?