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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Unhealthy eating has a negative. effect on both individuals and the society in which they live. Some people think that the government should tax unhealthy foods while others believe that a ‘fat tax’ is unfair and unnecessary. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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A group of
individuals
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 presents the view that the government should
tax
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 unhealthy
foods
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 to promote healthier living and reduce healthcare costs,
whereas
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 others believe that a "fat
tax
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" is both unfair and unnecessary. I strongly agree with the former opinion as it not only promotes public
health
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 but
also
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 ensures long-term societal benefits. On the one hand, some people justifiably argue that taxing unhealthy
foods
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 can reduce consumption. By increasing the cost of these
foods
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,
individuals
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 may be deterred from purchasing them, ultimately leading to a healthier population.
For example
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, similar taxes on tobacco products have shown positive results in reducing smoking rates. They
also
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 present the sound argument that the revenue generated from these taxes can be used to fund
health
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 education programs and public
health
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 initiatives. These programs could raise awareness about the benefits of healthier lifestyles, contributing to a more informed public that can make better dietary choices.
On the other hand
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, another group of people claim that
such
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 a
tax
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 disproportionately affects low-income families. These
individuals
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 often rely on cheaper, calorie-dense
foods
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, and a
tax
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 would place an additional economic burden on them. They insist that people should have the freedom to make their own dietary choices without government interference.
However
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, I do not find
this
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 argument convincing, as public
health
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 issues often necessitate government intervention. The negative effects of unhealthy eating are not just individual problems but affect society as a whole, including increased healthcare costs and productivity losses.
Thus
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, promoting healthier choices is a shared responsibility.
To conclude
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, in my view, taxing unhealthy
foods
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 is a necessary step to improve public
health
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.
This
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 measure would not only reduce the consumption of unhealthy
foods
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, benefiting both
individuals
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 and society by lowering healthcare costs
,
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apply
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 but
also
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 provide crucial funding for
health
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 education programs.
Moreover
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,
while
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 some argue that a "fat
tax
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" restricts freedom of choice, the broader societal benefits and the need to protect vulnerable populations from poor
health
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 outweigh these concerns.

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support
Ensure that examples provided directly relate to and reinforce the main points. Consider integrating more specific statistics or studies relevant to unhealthy eating taxes.
language use
While your essay flows well, consider using more varied linking words and phrases to enhance the cohesion of your points.
structure
Your essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, neatly framing the discussion.
content
The essay provides a balanced discussion of both views and presents a personal opinion with justification.
organization
Your ideas are logically structured, enhancing overall readability.
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