Some people think that money is one of the most essential factors in promoting happiness. Do you think people can be happy without much money? What other factors contribute towards happiness?

#people #money #factors #happiness

Some societies are racing to be wealthy because they assume that

money

is an important thing to be joyful. Meanwhile, others believe that getting bliss is not about

money

. In my opinion, many people have their own ways of

happiness

, and some of them do not require

money

Although

having

money

brings joy to some societies, I disagree with that since people without

money

still can be happy. Take

for example

a developed country, most of its citizens would agree that the citizens of a developing country will be more satisfied rather than them because they have a strong connection between each part of the families.

Thus

, the developed countries will not be happier than the developing countries. Many possible chances to achieve

happiness

without spending cash.

Firstly

, some communities nowadays love hanging out with their friends and family because it will increase their knowledge by talking to each other at the park to see the sunset.

Secondly

, spending time in public places can be joyful, and no need to pay any penny. In some countries;

For instance

, the government is not charging their museum visitor, and it will be an option as a pleasure.

Therefore

, it is not everlasting that

money

will always be means as the key to

happiness

. Rather than being stressed by getting

money

to achieve joy; in conclusion, the communities have to find a way to get

happiness

. They may communicate with their friends and family or visit some local places in a city. I believe that being rich is the key to being happy, but many choices for people to enjoy the world.

Submitted by re.li on Mon Dec 18 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea with supporting arguments. The relationship between your ideas could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words and phrases to clarify the connections between different points.

task achievement

Expand on your examples by providing more specific details. The use of examples is good, but they need to be more fully developed to support your arguments effectively.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

269 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Promoting happiness
Essential factors
Financial stability
Material wealth
Personal fulfillment
Contentment
Basic needs
Maslow's hierarchy of needs
Social connections
Pursuing passions
Well-being
Mental health
Spiritual practices
Personal growth
Community service
Societal contribution
Philanthropy
Joy
Satisfaction
Prosperity

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Some people think that money is one of the most essential factors in promoting happiness. Do you think people can be happy without much money? What other factors contribute towards happiness?

In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause of individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.

n some countries, students pay their college or university fees, while in some others, the government pay for them. Do you think the advantages that government pays the money outweigh the disadvantages?

In many countries, the government prioritises economic growth above all other concerns. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this.

The table shows data about underground railway systems in six major cities with date opened, kilometres of route and passenger numbers per year in millions.