In some countries, owing a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

#countries #home #people #be #case #situation

In today’s society, with the evolving social landscape, many

people

argue that purchasing a home

instead

of renting one is crucial.

This

essay will outline the root causes of

this

phenomenon, and I believe that

this

trend leads to more adverse impacts than benefits. There are several factors that contribute to

this

situation.

Firstly

, being a homeowner offers the stability of living without the concern of landlords suddenly asking tenants to move out.

Moreover

, it empowers individuals to determine the layout of the

house

, creating the dream home they want. Another contributing factor is that owning a

house

indicates that the owner is a successful person recognized by society in the contemporary era.

Furthermore

, age

also

plays a key role in fueling

this

trend, as

people

get older and numerous landlords are unwilling to rent to them.

Therefore

people

feel compelled to buy a

house

to avoid

this

circumstance. As more

people

are keen to own a

house

this

emerging trend may cause some detrimental issues.

For example

, the accessibility of houses is difficult, especially for low-income individuals and families, resulting in them being under pressure and lacking a sense of confidence.

Additionally

, many young

people

strive to save and earn money to own their houses.

This

, in turn, takes a toll on their quality of life. In

this

case, owning a

house

contributes to potential concerns for many. From the reasons mentioned above, it seems to me that having your own

house

may enhance the stability of life, but it

also

comes with concerns

such

as financial burdens and pressure.

Therefore

, the best choice should be based on an individual’s needs and financial means, rather than jumping on the bandwagon.

Submitted by zora840810 on Wed Jun 26 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph focuses on one main idea and includes supporting details distinctly. This can enhance the clarity and effectiveness of your response.

task achievement

While you have outlined the causes and effects well, try incorporating more specific examples or real-life situations to strengthen your arguments further.

coherence cohesion

The introduction clearly outlines the main points that will be discussed, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the arguments.

task achievement

The essay provides a balanced viewpoint, discussing both sides of the issue, which exhibits critical thinking.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

281 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

ownership
renting
importance
sense of security
stability
financial investment
asset
customize
decorate
belonging
community
potential
future generations
long-term
cost advantage
control
living space

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problem as result. Why do many working People not get enough exceise? what can be done about this problem?

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Some people believe schoolchildren should help to create rules in their schools. Others say teachers alone should decide what the rules are. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.