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Band 7

Tourism is growing in many parts of the world, particularly in developing countries. To what extent does this trend benefit the countries and their people? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#tourism #parts #world #countries #trend #benefit #people
The development of transportation technology, like
airplanes
Change the spelling
aeroplanes
show examples
, has allowed us to travel all over the world easily.
Moreover
, we are able to search for information about tourist sites and book tours on the Internet.
Thus
, today, many people are able to travel overseas, saving a lot of time. Admitting that it is a matter of relativity how we evaluate the trend of
tourism
, the answer varies from person to person, depending on the value systems or the
countries
. All in all, I believe that
this
 trend gives numerous benefits to developing
countries
 for two reasons. First and foremost, I reckon that much money from tourists enables the
countries
 to improve their infrastructure.
For example
,
although
 Cambodia was one of the poorest
countries
 in Asia 20 years ago, currently, it has modern transportation in the city area. The main cause of the development is that the government has focused on
tourism
 to the famous temples.
Therefore
, visiting
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the developing
countries
 makes it possible to build a well-being country.
Secondly
, but not less importantly,
tourism
 provides backward
countries
 with events to share their own attractive culture and nature.
For instance
, Thai is a popular visiting site for Japanese, and nowadays there are many Thai restaurants in Japan.
That is
 to say; there is a good cycle that people who know the charm of Thai in Japan visit there to experience their authentic foods and other cultures,
such
 as Buddism. In conclusion,
tourism
 is one of the most significant industries in developing
countries
. Growing it allows their economy to earn much money from other
countries
; thereby,
this
 profit improves the nation’s lives.
That is
 my view.
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coherence cohesion
Although your essay has excellently supported main points, ensure each reason is fully expanded for clarity.
task achievement
Try to further develop ideas and examples, ensuring clear links between all parts of your response for better completeness.
task achievement
The essay is commendable in providing strong examples from your knowledge and experience, like Cambodia and Thailand.
coherence cohesion
The essay's introduction is clear, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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