IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Nowadays, many people rely on online sources for news and information. Is this a positive or negative development?

There is considerable disagreement over whether relying on online
information
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 is beneficial or harmful. From my perspective,I believe that relying on online
information
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 has more negative effects on
people
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. One benefit of relying on online
information
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 is that it can help
people
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 obtain a huge amount of
information
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 quickly and respond rapidly. With just a smartphone,
people
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 can gain first-hand
information
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 from online , which helps them understand what is happening around the world. Especially for business
people
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, knowing the latest market trends can help them make better and timely decisions
However
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, there are
also
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 some downsides. The main disadvantage of relying on online
information
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 is that it can
cause
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 conflicts between
people
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 who hold different views, even among friends and family members.
This
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 is because online platforms usually recommend
information
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 based on users’ reading preferences.
As a result
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,
people
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 tend to receive only the
information
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 they like, which may
cause
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 them to fall into an “
information
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 cocoon”, making their thinking more extreme and narrow. Another disadvantage of relying on online
information
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 is that it can mislead readers. To be specific, some individuals publish fake news in order to attract attention.
Such
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 misinformation may
cause
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 readers to make incorrect judgments.
In addition
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, some content may spread negative ideas that are harmful to social order and public morality In conclusion,
although
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 relying on online
information
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 allows
people
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 to obtain
information
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 and respond quickly, I still believe that it has negative effects because it may
cause
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 conflicts between
people
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 with different views and mislead readers.

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task response
For task response, your answer is clear and you give both sides, but your main view could be stronger from the start.
task response
For task response, add one more clear and real example to show why online news can be bad.
task response
For task response, some ideas are good but could be more full. Explain how fake news can affect daily life.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear start, body, and end, which is good.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, links like 'however', 'as a result', and 'in addition' are used well, but some parts can flow more smoothly.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, make each body part start with one very clear main idea, then add support after it.
task response
You answer the question and give a clear opinion that it is a negative development.
task response
You include more than one reason for your view, which helps your answer feel complete.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is easy to follow because each paragraph has a clear role.
coherence and cohesion
You have both an introduction and a conclusion, and they match your main idea.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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