***The way children spend their free time has been altered by new technologies. Are the benefits of this greater than the drawbacks?*** ***Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.***

The existence of new technologies has altered how
children
allocate their free time. These changes have brought about both
benefits
and drawbacks. In my opinion, the
benefits
that
technology
offers to young individuals surpass any disadvantages. On one hand,
technology
provides
children
with access to a wide range of entertaining resources. There are numerous games that stimulate
children
's cognitive abilities and problem-solving skills. These apps often incorporate interactive elements,
such
as quizzes, puzzles, and challenges.
For instance
, Roblox is the most popular game among
children
because it encourages them to express their creativity and imagination through the implementation of science,
technology
, engineering, and math.
Additionally
, the
children
can interact with other
children
from around the world, which can broaden their perspective and enhance their communication skills in other languages.
On the other hand
, overreliance on
technology
for entertainment can lead to a sedentary lifestyle and a lack of physical exercise, negatively impacting
children
’s health. A study by the UK Academy of Pediatrics found that excessive screen time and sedentary behaviour in
children
are associated with an increased risk of obesity, sleep problems, and poor academic performance. To promote a healthy balance,
children
should engage in offline activities
such
as outdoor play, sports, reading, and hobbies. By adding these activities to their daily routine, kids can have a balanced and healthy lifestyle. In conclusion,
technology
has myriad
benefits
for entertaining
children
and educating them simultaneously.
However
, it is crucial to promote a healthy balance between
technology
use and offline activities to ensure
children
’s physical and social development. By doing so,
children
can enjoy the
benefits
of
technology
while
still engaging in a diverse range of entertaining and enriching experiences.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Task Achievement
For task achievement, ensure that both sides of the argument are presented equally before presenting your own view and that your view is supported throughout. Make sure to fully develop all parts of the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, ensure a clear flow of ideas with appropriate paragraphing. Use a range of cohesive devices, and make sure they underline the information in a supportive manner without leading to confusion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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