IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Increasing numbers of students are choosing to study abroad. To what extent does thistrend benefit the students themselves and the countries involved? Wht are the drawbacks?

#numbers #students #study #thistrend #benefit #countries #wht
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The vast majority of
students
Use synonyms
 tend to select foreign
countries
Use synonyms
 to continue their education.
This
Linking Words
 may have some advantages and disadvantageous as well for
students
Use synonyms
 and chosen regions. Studying abroad may bring an excellent opportunity for
countries
Use synonyms
 to make money and develop their financial climate through immigration. Many
students
Use synonyms
 should pay money as tuition fees.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 spend their money in that
country
Use synonyms
 on shopping or paying bills and taxes.
This
Linking Words
 may have far positive impact on the general condition of the destination
country
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the most beneficial point of educating in other
countries
Use synonyms
 would be improving self-confidence and experiencing independent life.
This
Linking Words
 may help
students
Use synonyms
 build their own personality and
on the other hand
Linking Words
, make a chance to deal with real life with all of its aspects.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, there are some undeniable negative points about studying abroad. First and foremost one is that going to another
country
Use synonyms
 could be far more costly compared to living in their own
country
Use synonyms
. Renting accommodation,equipment and
also
Linking Words
, and transportation may be expensive. Apart from that, if the
country
Use synonyms
 did not have infrastructure for newcomers, it would cause dissatisfaction even for local residents. Dwellers may face several issues
such
Linking Words
 as traffic jams, lack of healthcare ,etc. All being said, a plethora of
students
Use synonyms
 prefer to study abroad.
This
Linking Words
 may help the destination to promote the financial climate and
students
Use synonyms
,
also
Linking Words
, experience an independent life and have a sense of confidence.
on the other hand
Linking Words
. Studying abroad may be utterly costly for
students
Use synonyms
 and certain
countries
Use synonyms
,
in addition
Linking Words
, do not have appropriate structures for them.
Submitted by Maral.qanbarii1992 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to illustrate your points. While you mentioned financial impact and independence, examples or case studies would strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Consider developing clearer and more comprehensive ideas. You have good points, but exploring each idea in more depth could enhance your response.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph follows a clear, logical structure. Pay attention to transitions between ideas to improve the overall flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Check for grammatical errors and typos, such as "advantageous" instead of "disadvantageous" and missing commas after introductory phrases.
coherence cohesion
You presented an effective introduction and conclusion, framing your argument well at both the beginning and end of your essay.
task achievement
You demonstrated a clear understanding of the task and addressed both the benefits and drawbacks of studying abroad.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Intercultural competence
  • Globalized workforce
  • Brain drain
  • Adaptation difficulties
  • Cultural shock
  • Professional opportunities
  • Economic benefits
  • Language barriers
  • Social isolation
  • Host country
What to do next:
Look at other essays: