IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#aim #science #people’s #lives
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It is believed that the main purpose of
science
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 should be to provide an easier life in society.
While
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 I recognize the benefits of
science
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 in areas
such
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 as healthcare, there are some aspects that do not align with my opinion. On the one hand,
science
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 may provide advanced methods for disorders which can't be cured with today's technologies.
For example
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, lethal health issues
such
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 as cancer can be cured with the help of specific laser methods that became popular with the development of the technologies in healthcare and these advancements will
also
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 continue to improve during the next years.
Additionally
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,
science
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 may help to develop tools that will have positive impacts on people's lives and ease their daily tasks. Artificial intelligence tools with the capability of handling tasks from programming to design can be a great example of these tools.
On the other hand
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, it does not mean that all enhancements in
science
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 will positively impact the community. Different bombs, or weapons that have been improved with the latest enhancements of
science
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 play a significant role in some societies' peace,
as well as
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 seem as a threat to others.
Furthermore
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, different algorithms and platforms
such
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 as websites which ask for user details are created many in count to get the personal information of the members which is sold to different companies to gain some money in the next stage. These kinds of actions are out of the legal framework and can damage someone's reputation or image. In conclusion,
although
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science
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 offers great opportunities and enhances people's lives by providing facilities in different sectors, some may abuse these improvements for their own good rather than society's.
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task achievement
Ensure a clearer stance in the introduction about whether you agree or disagree with the statement.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph focuses on a single idea for better clarity.
task achievement
Include more real-life examples to support your points.
task achievement
Your essay includes both sides of the argument, which shows your ability to see multiple perspectives.
coherence cohesion
Good use of transition words, such as 'on the one hand' and 'on the other hand,' to guide the reader through the argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames the argument well.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • enhancing
  • quality of human life
  • advancements
  • medicine
  • healthcare
  • scientific research
  • solving societal problems
  • improving living standards
  • global issues
  • climate change
  • food scarcity
  • technological advancements
  • limitations
  • negative consequences
  • ethical considerations
  • sustainability
  • environmental preservation
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