IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Write about the following topic: ‘It is important for foreigners to know something about the history and culture of the country they live in.’ To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#topic #‘it #foreigners #history #culture #country
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There is no denying the fact that learning about the
history
 and
culture
 of a new
country
 could be beneficial for your knowledge and valuable information. It is a commonly held belief that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 It is crucial for foreigners to know something about the
history
 and
culture
 of the
country
 they work or study in. There is
also
 an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that learning about traditional
culture
 and
history
 will be beneficial in every aspect of life.
To begin
 with, foreigners how to show passion for knowing the
culture
 and
history
 of that place which will lead colleagues and people to show love and respect to them.
In other words
, they will consider you as a person like him and not a strange person.
In addition
, practising their behaviours and attitudes may allow you to not make initial mistakes.
For example
, starting to learn their language may strengthen your relationship and give you a sense of feeling at home. Another point to consider, knowing their
culture
 could enhance your place in
this
country
 and make your life easier. It is
also
 possible to say that, It assists you in engaging with society and sharing thoughts and opinions with them.
Moreover
, when you learn valuable information and start practising their language that probably raises your opportunities in jobs or other important work.
For instance
, foreigners who show an interest in the host
country
’s
culture
 and
history
 are often viewed more
favorably
Change the spelling
favourably
show examples
 by locals, which can enhance personal and community relationships. In conclusion, despite people having different views, I believe that to be a member of the
country
 you should learn or know about their behaviours,
culture
 and
history
this
 will be critical for people to respect and give you value.
Submitted by naif.waleead on

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task achievement
Ensure your essay has a clear thesis statement in the introduction to clearly outline your stance.
task achievement
Reinforce your arguments with more specific examples or experiences if possible, to bolster your points.
coherence cohesion
Try to use more transitional phrases to improve the flow between paragraphs.
task achievement
The essay effectively addresses the task by discussing both sides of the argument and clearly states the writer’s opinion.
task achievement
The use of examples, such as the benefits of learning a host country’s language, strengthens the essay’s arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear logical structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • integration
  • expatriate
  • societal norms
  • cultural faux pas
  • culturally diverse
  • historical events
  • cultural practices
  • assimilation
  • cross-cultural communication
  • local traditions
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