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Band 6.5

The graph below shows tourism statistics among Venezuelian students from 2011 to 2014. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. 150 words

The graph below shows tourism statistics among Venezuelian students from 2011 to 2014. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. 150 words
#tourism #statistics #venezuelian #students #information #features #comparisons
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The line graph depicts the
number
Use synonyms
 of visiting Venezuelan
students
Use synonyms
 between 2011
to
Correct word choice
and
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 2014. After analysing the line graph, it can be seen clearly that in 2011, the
number
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 of visiting
students
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 was 15000 in
London
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while
Linking Words
 in Paris it was 10000 in the same year.After that, in
London
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, there was
slight
Add an article
a slight
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 increase in figure till 2014.
whereas
Linking Words
, in Paris, the amount went up to 13000 in 2012 ,
then
Linking Words
further
Linking Words
 surged to 20000 in 2013.
Then
Linking Words
 noticeably decreased to 18000 at the
last
Linking Words
 year.In 2014, there was a small difference in digits of visiting
students
Use synonyms
 between Paris and
Rome
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 Moving toward
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Rome
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, in 2011 the visiting
students
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 was highest in
Rome
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 whilst the numbers dropped to around
about to
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apply
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12000 from 18000 in 2012.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in 2013 the numbers
climb
Wrong verb form
climbed
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 to approximately 17000. After
that
Add a comma
that,
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 there was a minor decline in the
number
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 of visiting
students
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.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
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 in 2014, the total
number
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 was 16000.
London
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 had the biggest digits of visiting
students
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 in 2014
while
Linking Words
Rome
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 had the lowest.
Overall
Linking Words
, the most visited place in
London
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 and the least visited region was
Rome
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by madihaali8470 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, students, london, rome with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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