whoever controls the media also controls opinions and attitudes of the people and there is little that can be done to rectify this. do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is contended that
people
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's attitudes are controlled by those governing the
media
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industry, and nothing can be done to change
this
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.
Although
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I acknowledge the integral role of
media
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in individuals' perspectives towards life, I argue that other factors can
also
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have an immense impact on
one
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's life, with the help of which the negative effect of the press would be alleviated. The high-speed and intrusive nature of
media
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makes it impossible to compete with. Sometimes even inherently beneficial systems
such
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as circular reporting can bring about detrimental effects. User-generated content,
such
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as wikis, are common contributors to circular reporting. With more
people
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using these pages for quick
information
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, an unverified fact in a wiki page makes its way into a published article, which is later added as a citation to the very same wiki data. As the idea has already been broadcasted to the vast majority of
people
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, it would be almost impossible to debunk it.
Moreover
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, technology has enabled
people
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to access anything at any time.
While
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this
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accessibility has brought immeasurable benefits by breaking the barrier between
people
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and
information
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, humankind's desire for quick
information
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overpowers the desire to be certain about the validity.
Media
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stakeholders, vigilant about possibilities, exploit the ubiquity of the
media
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in
people
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's lives to impose mentalities in favour of their own benefits. Unfortunately, other intellectual-affecting contributors are paralyzed in the competition with social
media
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's high speed and invasive nature.
While
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technologies have privileged the
media
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over other factors,
such
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as parents and literature, it has not succeeded in eliminating their presence completely. Parents confer beliefs, religion, and ways of thinking on
children
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.
Although
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these factors may be questioned as soon as
children
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are introduced to social
media
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, the human species' genes have been coded in a manner that optimal solace and trust are only sought with the parent's approval.
Therefore
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, mothers and fathers are able to mitigate the disadvantageous impacts of
media
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by offering a serene environment within which
children
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can discuss their struggles.
Such
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an approach can dissuade
children
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from relying on the
media
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as the primary source of
information
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and enable them to be vigilant of the potential risks.
Furthermore
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, great writers and well-known philosophers, wary of the
media
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network, have written in-depth books on the issue; by reading these books,
one
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would be able to substitute impulsive, aspired thinking with cautious decisions.
For instance
Linking Words
, reading books
such
Linking Words
as 1984, a book written by George Orwell, vividly depicts the invasive nature of the press, opens
one
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's mind, and enables individuals to observe how
media
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is affecting
one
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's mind and perspective.
This
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new data ultimately leads to the formation of mindful citizens, whose intellectual power mitigates the
media
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's deleterious prevalence in their lives. In conclusion, teachers, parents and
media
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all share equal importance in
molding
Change the spelling
moulding
show examples
one
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's ideas, and the negative impact of each can be addressed by other parties.
Submitted by ghazalmoosavi79 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
To further improve coherence, consider using more varied transition words and phrases to link ideas more explicitly. This will help guide the reader through your argument more smoothly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly relates back to the main thesis, reinforcing your argument throughout.
Task Achievement
The essay provides a comprehensive response to the task, addressing both the power of media and countering influences.
Task Achievement
Main ideas are well supported with examples such as the mention of '1984' by George Orwell, which adds depth to the argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Logical structure is evident, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Each section is well-developed with relevant support.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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