IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Nowadays, many people spend less and less time at home. What are the *causes* of this? What are the effects of this on individuals and on the society?

In the modern world, an increasing number of individuals spend minimal
time
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 at
home
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.
This
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 trend is primarily driven by work-related demands and the desire for social engagement.
While
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 it may offer certain benefits in terms of productivity and networking, it
also
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 has adverse effects on personal well-being and social relationships. One of the key reasons people spend less
time
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 at
home
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 is the pressure to meet professional expectations in today’s competitive job market. Many workers are required to work overtime, attend client meetings, or travel for business, often extending beyond regular working hours.
Additionally
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, the growing gig economy and multiple income streams have encouraged people to take on side jobs, leaving them with very limited personal
time
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. Another contributing factor is the rise of urban lifestyles, where individuals prefer spending leisure
time
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 outside—at cafes, gyms, or entertainment venues—rather than staying indoors.
This
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 shift in daily routines can have serious consequences for both individuals and society. On a personal level, reduced
time
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 at
home
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 may lead to weakened family bonds and increased stress
due to
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 the lack of rest and emotional support. Children,
in particular
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, may suffer from limited parental attention, which can affect their emotional development. On a societal level,
this
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 lifestyle may contribute to a sense of isolation, reduced community participation, and a decline in shared cultural or family traditions. Over
time
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, these changes can erode the social fabric and increase the risk of mental health issues. In conclusion, the trend of spending less
time
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 at
home
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 is largely driven by economic pressures and modern lifestyle preferences.
Although
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 it may offer short-term advantages, the long-term effects on personal relationships and social cohesion are deeply concerning. Efforts should be made to promote a better work-life balance and encourage community engagement.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea that ties back to the question.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. This will strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Revising sentences for clarity can improve your writing style.
task achievement
The introduction clearly states the topic and the main points of the essay.
task achievement
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and gives a clear opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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